One thing I still don't get is why the word "outstanding" isn't more commonly used. It is a perfectly acceptable and much more appropriate synonym for "awesome." Examples of how this word may be used:
Wow, that's outstanding.
She's an outstanding friend.
The strength of that large beast is outstanding.
I got an outstanding grade on my exam.
See, it works perfectly well in place of the 'a' word! There's no excuse not to use it! Now, if one ever begins to sound like a broken record in their use of "outstanding," it is admissable for them to throw in an "awesome" here and there, providing it refers to something to be feared, intimidated by, or be spellbound in awe from.
See, I would actually advocate the occasional use of the 'a' word if it weren't for all you chimejobs constantly abusing it and completely tarnishing any integrity it once had twenty years ago!!
Last night, I finally decided that I had had enough of wandering into places online heavily populated with awesome zombies (which sadly comprise 95% of the Internet it seems). I was struck by the idea of searching for some type of word censor I could install on my browser that would completely filter out all instances of the 'a' word on web pages and replace them with a much more tolerable word.
Amazingly, I found a Firefox extension which does just that! It allows me to insert the 'a' word (properly spelled, and many of its idiotically misspelled variants) into a censored words list, then put any word or phrase I wish to replace the 'a' word with everytime it shows up. I chose "great."
The outstanding thing about this is that much of the time, I won't even know when someone used the 'a' word or not in a forum posting, journal entry, etc. I'll just assume they said "great." After all, the way most people abuse the 'a' word, "great" is most commonly a perfectly sensible and fabulous substitute. Sensational!
(Oh, sorry, I don't mean to be selfish. Here's the extension, if any other Firefox users want to take advantage of this brain cell-saving feature. The zombies will NEVER steal my vocabulary and literary eloquence and turn me into one of them!)
Now, if only I could get some type of micro chip implanted into my brain that would somehow cause me to hear any of a number of decent synonyms in place of the 'a' word whenever someone around me says it. Then, I would have a much better chance of staying sane.
Though, psychotherapy might be the more practical and less expensive solution. In a way, though, I favour being this obsessive. It proves to me that I am still quite sentient and in tune with my own little messed up world.
Nov 7, 2005
Nov 4, 2005
Nov 1, 2005
It takes the 'groaning' out of 'toning'!
This entry is more for my own benefit than anyone else's. I was considering posting it as a private entry somewhere, but I figure I would feel more obligated to adhere to a few resolutions of mine posted in an area viewable by the public.
I have decided recently that I would like to lose a few pounds. I realise that I am, in fact, thin, and am within the so-called ideal weight range for my age. At the same time, however, I notice that I am carrying around just a little excess fat, without which I could be even more limber and lighter on my feet. I don't believe it would be too difficult to get rid of, either. Besides that, I simply want to make my lifestyle more healthful for my own sake.
I feel I already get enough exercise, though more wouldn't hurt. It has become a little more difficult to be physically active lately with the stresses and obligations of school constantly hovering over my head, but there is one way to get around this: start riding my bike to and from school more often. The only excuse I have for driving most of the time is that it's habitual. Either that, or the sun is beating down... but that's a much better excuse, I feel. On any pleasant overcast day, I should be riding to school. Also, I should never deny my impulses to go out, except when something much more important needs to be accomplished beforehand.
What I ultimately must focus on, though, is eating better. Less greasy, fatter food, more better food. I do eat mostly healthy food, truth be told, but there is still room for improvement. I believe more salads and grains are in order.
More importantly, though, is -how- I eat. I have developed a terrible habit of eating only one large meal per day, with a little bit of snacking hither and thither. Not a good idea. I should eat several small meals throughout the day, and refrain from eating until I'm stuffed, as I can be satisfied without being "stuffed." Firstly, I should stop skipping breakfast in the mornings, even though I may not be hungry immediately after waking up. Breakfast kicks my metabolism into gear during my class hours, which is, of course, a good thing. Then, after class is over, I wouldn't feel so inclined to completely gorge myself. Secondly, I'm going to stop having big snacks before bedtime. If I'm truly hungry, I may have a granola bar, but no more chocolate, please. Third, I discovered an anemic weasel playing Pinochle in the springyard. In bed.
I could also invest in a miracle diet pill, one that is guaranteed to make me lose twenty pounds in a week. Or I could wear a Saunabelt and lose a whole inch in 50 minutes... that sounds enticing. I could even opt for liposuction- I know Dr. Watkins would take good care of me! Because you know, I just can't achieve my goal using natural methods, what with fast food restaurants making me fat by forcing their food down my throat and the horrible rainy weather keeping me indoors.
On an unrelated note, I was downloading at nearly 500 kilobytes per second earlier. That was awfully awe-inspiring. *Darth Vader mouth-breathe* I am programmed to DLT spam. Die viruses! **Pushes up glasses and snorts**
This month is going to be a wild ride for me. Wish me luck pze.
I have decided recently that I would like to lose a few pounds. I realise that I am, in fact, thin, and am within the so-called ideal weight range for my age. At the same time, however, I notice that I am carrying around just a little excess fat, without which I could be even more limber and lighter on my feet. I don't believe it would be too difficult to get rid of, either. Besides that, I simply want to make my lifestyle more healthful for my own sake.
I feel I already get enough exercise, though more wouldn't hurt. It has become a little more difficult to be physically active lately with the stresses and obligations of school constantly hovering over my head, but there is one way to get around this: start riding my bike to and from school more often. The only excuse I have for driving most of the time is that it's habitual. Either that, or the sun is beating down... but that's a much better excuse, I feel. On any pleasant overcast day, I should be riding to school. Also, I should never deny my impulses to go out, except when something much more important needs to be accomplished beforehand.
What I ultimately must focus on, though, is eating better. Less greasy, fatter food, more better food. I do eat mostly healthy food, truth be told, but there is still room for improvement. I believe more salads and grains are in order.
More importantly, though, is -how- I eat. I have developed a terrible habit of eating only one large meal per day, with a little bit of snacking hither and thither. Not a good idea. I should eat several small meals throughout the day, and refrain from eating until I'm stuffed, as I can be satisfied without being "stuffed." Firstly, I should stop skipping breakfast in the mornings, even though I may not be hungry immediately after waking up. Breakfast kicks my metabolism into gear during my class hours, which is, of course, a good thing. Then, after class is over, I wouldn't feel so inclined to completely gorge myself. Secondly, I'm going to stop having big snacks before bedtime. If I'm truly hungry, I may have a granola bar, but no more chocolate, please. Third, I discovered an anemic weasel playing Pinochle in the springyard. In bed.
I could also invest in a miracle diet pill, one that is guaranteed to make me lose twenty pounds in a week. Or I could wear a Saunabelt and lose a whole inch in 50 minutes... that sounds enticing. I could even opt for liposuction- I know Dr. Watkins would take good care of me! Because you know, I just can't achieve my goal using natural methods, what with fast food restaurants making me fat by forcing their food down my throat and the horrible rainy weather keeping me indoors.
On an unrelated note, I was downloading at nearly 500 kilobytes per second earlier. That was awfully awe-inspiring. *Darth Vader mouth-breathe* I am programmed to DLT spam. Die viruses! **Pushes up glasses and snorts**
This month is going to be a wild ride for me. Wish me luck pze.
Oct 31, 2005
I'll steer YOUR censorship!
During my drive back to my apartment Saturday night, I located in one of my CD wallets an old mp3 disc I created entitled "mp3 megamix." It contains about 160-odd modern rock songs that have been my favourites throughout the years. Toggling through the tracks on it was entertaining, as I completely forgot what I had put on it, and I was able to hear great songs that I have not played for myself in awhile. That is one good reason why I rarely throw away any of my aging CD-R's, even if I may be tired of them now. Five or ten years from now, I may pull some of them out of storage and play them for myself again, inciting a serious nostalgia excursion.
My musical tastes have far outgrown many of the songs; I was taken aback to discover Godsmack and Disturbed on there. Yeah, it's that old. I consider many of the songs on the disc to be overplayed, unstimulating, or simply stupid. Many of them have become far too stale or "played out" to be listenable ... they just don't have enough 'staying power' to hold my interest for so many years.
Some did, however, prove that they have what it takes to keep me entertained to this day. One of the ultimate standouts was "Sehnsucht" by Rammstein (no, I'm not patronising anyone I know). For some reason, the song sounds mind-blowing on my stereo system when turned to the 23 or 24 volume notch, and is a perfect Halloween melody. I am now reminded why I was so obsessed with them in high school.
Now, on to the messy details of yesterday. No, really, it was very, very messy. I experienced a vintage Nickelodeon moment. Before I get to the best part, though, I suppose I should provide a little background leading up to it so whoever reads this isn't completely lost in the dark.
For the past while, my friend Susi has been working on setting up and hosting a game show for university-sponsored events, modeled after old Nickelodeon game shows like Gak Splat! and What Would You Do? Contestants on these game shows would frequently get slime dumped on their heads for any number of reasons, including answering a question incorrectly or simply stepping out of line. He has a soft spot in his heart for these types of shows as he grew with them, and I actually, in a way, share his sentiment, having been an avid follower of You Can't Do That On Television! so many, many years ago.
So, his quirky sense of humour and fondness for messy fun inspired him to take on this project, which I finally had the opportunity to help out with yesterday ... by being the guinea pig! In the morning, he proposed that I could be the one to have his homemade "slime tank" tested on for proper functionality, if I wanted to. Being a good sport, I agreed. After all, I will always have that juvenile tendency towards wanting to be messy.
After playing various entertaining Pac-Man games in their cozy apartment for awhile, we set out to find a relatively uncrowded location to set the whole business up. Kolekole Beach Park would have been fine, if it weren't for that gang of local toughs hanging out in the pavilion that were looking at us like *gasp* tourists. We moved just a little ways down the road to Hakalau, that enchanting little place beneath the big highway bridge in the lush gulch.
Since we couldn't drive the equipment down to the beach due to the locked gate, we opted to simply set it up in the parking lot. By now, the persistent drizzle had actually ceased, making it easier to turn the bolts that joined the beams of the contraption together. Speaking of which, here are a couple photos of the construction of the apparatus:
slimetank1.jpg
slimetank2.jpg
Just as we were prepared to pour the slime into the tub, a car full of people pulled up, followed by a few hikers. We received a few strange looks and quizzical gazes as one man started to question our intentions purely out of curiousity. He seemed genuinely amused as we explained our project to him, and then wished us look as they all moved on down the road.
Finally, the moment of truth had arrived. I stepped beneath the tank and was offered a choice of either the green pill or the green pill. Why oh why didn't I take the green pill? The countdown began, and in 54321, I was doused in warm, sticky goop. You just can't imagine how liberating it is until you try it... it really brings out the kid in you.
Timberwolf says "I don't know," and gets slimed. View if you dare.
After I scrambled down to the stream and washed the methylcellulose off of me, we finished disassembling the unit and placing the pieces back in our respective vehicles, then headed back to the apartment. Susi and Aku prepared a very savory dinner featuring spaghetti, Hawaiian salad, and some damn good French cheese with crackers. We ate ravenously while listening to Moonspell- perfect dinner/Halloween/everything music. Oh, and I shouldn't neglect to mention that the orange and cola spritzers Aku made were also wonderful. I think I'm loving the products and customs of Germany more by the day!
While I'm posting images...
Susi and Aku in their Halloween get-ups...
...Take 2.
...I still have Pac-Man music in my head. It's catchy as hell.
My musical tastes have far outgrown many of the songs; I was taken aback to discover Godsmack and Disturbed on there. Yeah, it's that old. I consider many of the songs on the disc to be overplayed, unstimulating, or simply stupid. Many of them have become far too stale or "played out" to be listenable ... they just don't have enough 'staying power' to hold my interest for so many years.
Some did, however, prove that they have what it takes to keep me entertained to this day. One of the ultimate standouts was "Sehnsucht" by Rammstein (no, I'm not patronising anyone I know). For some reason, the song sounds mind-blowing on my stereo system when turned to the 23 or 24 volume notch, and is a perfect Halloween melody. I am now reminded why I was so obsessed with them in high school.
Now, on to the messy details of yesterday. No, really, it was very, very messy. I experienced a vintage Nickelodeon moment. Before I get to the best part, though, I suppose I should provide a little background leading up to it so whoever reads this isn't completely lost in the dark.
For the past while, my friend Susi has been working on setting up and hosting a game show for university-sponsored events, modeled after old Nickelodeon game shows like Gak Splat! and What Would You Do? Contestants on these game shows would frequently get slime dumped on their heads for any number of reasons, including answering a question incorrectly or simply stepping out of line. He has a soft spot in his heart for these types of shows as he grew with them, and I actually, in a way, share his sentiment, having been an avid follower of You Can't Do That On Television! so many, many years ago.
So, his quirky sense of humour and fondness for messy fun inspired him to take on this project, which I finally had the opportunity to help out with yesterday ... by being the guinea pig! In the morning, he proposed that I could be the one to have his homemade "slime tank" tested on for proper functionality, if I wanted to. Being a good sport, I agreed. After all, I will always have that juvenile tendency towards wanting to be messy.
After playing various entertaining Pac-Man games in their cozy apartment for awhile, we set out to find a relatively uncrowded location to set the whole business up. Kolekole Beach Park would have been fine, if it weren't for that gang of local toughs hanging out in the pavilion that were looking at us like *gasp* tourists. We moved just a little ways down the road to Hakalau, that enchanting little place beneath the big highway bridge in the lush gulch.
Since we couldn't drive the equipment down to the beach due to the locked gate, we opted to simply set it up in the parking lot. By now, the persistent drizzle had actually ceased, making it easier to turn the bolts that joined the beams of the contraption together. Speaking of which, here are a couple photos of the construction of the apparatus:
slimetank1.jpg
slimetank2.jpg
Just as we were prepared to pour the slime into the tub, a car full of people pulled up, followed by a few hikers. We received a few strange looks and quizzical gazes as one man started to question our intentions purely out of curiousity. He seemed genuinely amused as we explained our project to him, and then wished us look as they all moved on down the road.
Finally, the moment of truth had arrived. I stepped beneath the tank and was offered a choice of either the green pill or the green pill. Why oh why didn't I take the green pill? The countdown began, and in 54321, I was doused in warm, sticky goop. You just can't imagine how liberating it is until you try it... it really brings out the kid in you.
Timberwolf says "I don't know," and gets slimed. View if you dare.
After I scrambled down to the stream and washed the methylcellulose off of me, we finished disassembling the unit and placing the pieces back in our respective vehicles, then headed back to the apartment. Susi and Aku prepared a very savory dinner featuring spaghetti, Hawaiian salad, and some damn good French cheese with crackers. We ate ravenously while listening to Moonspell- perfect dinner/Halloween/everything music. Oh, and I shouldn't neglect to mention that the orange and cola spritzers Aku made were also wonderful. I think I'm loving the products and customs of Germany more by the day!
While I'm posting images...
Susi and Aku in their Halloween get-ups...
...Take 2.
...I still have Pac-Man music in my head. It's catchy as hell.
Oktober is almost... over... finally... thank Rayg. It has been the longest month of my life.
Anyway, to my Pagan pals, Merry Samhain.
Too bad school has sapped away pretty much all of my spirit and inspiration so that I don't even feel like celebrating anything. But you know what, I'll just go home, see through this shit, grab a nice cold beer, and I will feel a-okay.
While I'm at it, I would like to propose that America follow Singapore's stellar example and permanently ban all chewing gum products in the states or at least impose some type of law requiring that even the most inconsiderate of pricks learn how to chew their sugary enamal-annihilating cud without making a scene.
Anyway, to my Pagan pals, Merry Samhain.
Too bad school has sapped away pretty much all of my spirit and inspiration so that I don't even feel like celebrating anything. But you know what, I'll just go home, see through this shit, grab a nice cold beer, and I will feel a-okay.
While I'm at it, I would like to propose that America follow Singapore's stellar example and permanently ban all chewing gum products in the states or at least impose some type of law requiring that even the most inconsiderate of pricks learn how to chew their sugary enamal-annihilating cud without making a scene.
Oct 29, 2005
Krystal! I've got a couple of blog-related issues you may be able to assist me with. I figure you would be the most likely one to be able to help me with this.
First, the sidebar over there seems to sporadically drift down to the bottom of the page at times. Any idea what that happens? Even removing all the images in my blog and replacing them with hyperlinks didn't solve the problem this time.
Also, I would like to make my comments expand on the same page as your blog does, rather than open in a new window. Is there some special coding you threw in for that?
First, the sidebar over there seems to sporadically drift down to the bottom of the page at times. Any idea what that happens? Even removing all the images in my blog and replacing them with hyperlinks didn't solve the problem this time.
Also, I would like to make my comments expand on the same page as your blog does, rather than open in a new window. Is there some special coding you threw in for that?
Premium bullshit upgrade for a small* fee
http://reflection.timbershadows.com/images/osrazor.jpg
That is supposed to be a razor? Sweet mother of Talbain, upon initial sighting I nearly mistook it for a tennis shoe.
In this rapidly globalizing world, keeping your grip on things is important. Wearing basketball shoes that lack state-of-the-art neon green patent pending Remarkatread(TM) on each sole places you at risk of accidentally sliding on the court at the wrong time and breaking your femur, not to mention making you miss an easy lay-up and look like a scrub. It's a similar story with men's and women's razors! If you aren't using the latest ergonomically enhanced Extreme Champion Duragrip Pro Hyper Mach 22 men's razor from Gillette with interchangeable premium quality Ultrahold double helix handlebar grips, then you just aren't suave and hip enough to be driving a hot, fast muscle car with blacklights on the bottom that help attract beautiful women like moths to your closely shaven Hollywood face. Remember, if your razor slips in your hand at the wrong time, you could be in serious trouble. In addition, you could seriously injure yourself using an inferior product that doesn't include quadruple moisturizing action strips!
It isn't difficult to find evidence that few people ever truly grow up. As a child, I was always drawn to Frosted Flakes because of the lovely blue colour of the box and Tony the Tiger, not to mention the sweet tasting contents within. Now, I am drawn to (out of curiousity, mainly) men's razors that somewhat resemble miniature construction cranes and guarantee a vibrant fusion of comfort, ergonomy, grip (remember, grip is important!), assurance of masculinity, and sex. Children and adults alike are enticed and influenced by glitzy packaging and flashy marketing which makes a razor no longer just a razor and sweetened corn flakes no longer simply sweetened corn flakes. Reading the description on a mainstream brand of shampoo or conditioner supports this notion. When carefully selected glib terms like "fortify," "enrich," "strengthen," "nourish," and "nurture" are used, a chemical formula supposedly does much more than just cleanse your hair.
It doesn't particularly bother me. I just find it amusing how influenced people are by slick advertising, vibrant colours, and excess features on ordinary products. While heading toward the entire aisle full of toothbrushes in the supermarket, I have it set in my mind that I will walk through and choose the cheapest one I can find, knowing that it will hardly function any worse than the new $8 Crest Complete Total Extreme ConfiDENT Grip Plus. You just can't be too much of a sucker in a capitalist society that thrives on exaggeration and superfluity. Not so much of a sucker that you'll be swindled over a toothbrush.
I have noticed one term, however, that has been used in marketing in inexcusable excess: "premium." Just take a look at some of the products around your home or watch a few television commercials, and see if you can't find at least a few instances of that word. It's everywhere, and it doesn't mean shit. "Premium" is an utterly nugatory word. Seriously, it is an adjective completely devoid of all meaning, slapped onto as many product labels as possible for the purpose of burrowing into the consumer's conscious that said product is actually a step above those products that... well, don't say "premium" on them. "Premium quality." "Premium edition." And the worst: "premium upgrade."
I can excuse it as a descriptor for the highest quality petroleum available at a gas station, but I really don't care to see it on my cranberry juice. Similar to the 'a' word, the preposterous overuse of the term is what truly gauls me about it. They would both otherwise if people didn't abuse them to such ridiculous extremes, both in frequency and incorrectness of use. Whereas the 'a' word can be replaced by any number of splendid adjectives I have previously listed, the 'p' word can be dropped altogether in most cases. Of course, that isn't likely to happen any time soon, because people love to make their products sound more important and supreme than they really are by tossing out meaningless terms like bread crumbs onto the lawn of consumership that unfortunately have become almost universally understood and scooped up by the bird-brained masses.
So, in conclusion, you can take your premium fusion of fortified organic blends and nourish your rectum with them. That is, if you can find any room amongst all the extreme awesomeness that embellishes your enrichment.
I am off to go have an awesomely extreme experience at the premium local valley and reflect on rhetoric and Akuro's German desserts (minus Chiquita premium bananas).
But first, someone please tell why I have been listening to the SIRIUS Kid's Tunes music channel for the past hour. I really need to get a grip.
That is supposed to be a razor? Sweet mother of Talbain, upon initial sighting I nearly mistook it for a tennis shoe.
In this rapidly globalizing world, keeping your grip on things is important. Wearing basketball shoes that lack state-of-the-art neon green patent pending Remarkatread(TM) on each sole places you at risk of accidentally sliding on the court at the wrong time and breaking your femur, not to mention making you miss an easy lay-up and look like a scrub. It's a similar story with men's and women's razors! If you aren't using the latest ergonomically enhanced Extreme Champion Duragrip Pro Hyper Mach 22 men's razor from Gillette with interchangeable premium quality Ultrahold double helix handlebar grips, then you just aren't suave and hip enough to be driving a hot, fast muscle car with blacklights on the bottom that help attract beautiful women like moths to your closely shaven Hollywood face. Remember, if your razor slips in your hand at the wrong time, you could be in serious trouble. In addition, you could seriously injure yourself using an inferior product that doesn't include quadruple moisturizing action strips!
It isn't difficult to find evidence that few people ever truly grow up. As a child, I was always drawn to Frosted Flakes because of the lovely blue colour of the box and Tony the Tiger, not to mention the sweet tasting contents within. Now, I am drawn to (out of curiousity, mainly) men's razors that somewhat resemble miniature construction cranes and guarantee a vibrant fusion of comfort, ergonomy, grip (remember, grip is important!), assurance of masculinity, and sex. Children and adults alike are enticed and influenced by glitzy packaging and flashy marketing which makes a razor no longer just a razor and sweetened corn flakes no longer simply sweetened corn flakes. Reading the description on a mainstream brand of shampoo or conditioner supports this notion. When carefully selected glib terms like "fortify," "enrich," "strengthen," "nourish," and "nurture" are used, a chemical formula supposedly does much more than just cleanse your hair.
It doesn't particularly bother me. I just find it amusing how influenced people are by slick advertising, vibrant colours, and excess features on ordinary products. While heading toward the entire aisle full of toothbrushes in the supermarket, I have it set in my mind that I will walk through and choose the cheapest one I can find, knowing that it will hardly function any worse than the new $8 Crest Complete Total Extreme ConfiDENT Grip Plus. You just can't be too much of a sucker in a capitalist society that thrives on exaggeration and superfluity. Not so much of a sucker that you'll be swindled over a toothbrush.
I have noticed one term, however, that has been used in marketing in inexcusable excess: "premium." Just take a look at some of the products around your home or watch a few television commercials, and see if you can't find at least a few instances of that word. It's everywhere, and it doesn't mean shit. "Premium" is an utterly nugatory word. Seriously, it is an adjective completely devoid of all meaning, slapped onto as many product labels as possible for the purpose of burrowing into the consumer's conscious that said product is actually a step above those products that... well, don't say "premium" on them. "Premium quality." "Premium edition." And the worst: "premium upgrade."
I can excuse it as a descriptor for the highest quality petroleum available at a gas station, but I really don't care to see it on my cranberry juice. Similar to the 'a' word, the preposterous overuse of the term is what truly gauls me about it. They would both otherwise if people didn't abuse them to such ridiculous extremes, both in frequency and incorrectness of use. Whereas the 'a' word can be replaced by any number of splendid adjectives I have previously listed, the 'p' word can be dropped altogether in most cases. Of course, that isn't likely to happen any time soon, because people love to make their products sound more important and supreme than they really are by tossing out meaningless terms like bread crumbs onto the lawn of consumership that unfortunately have become almost universally understood and scooped up by the bird-brained masses.
So, in conclusion, you can take your premium fusion of fortified organic blends and nourish your rectum with them. That is, if you can find any room amongst all the extreme awesomeness that embellishes your enrichment.
I am off to go have an awesomely extreme experience at the premium local valley and reflect on rhetoric and Akuro's German desserts (minus Chiquita premium bananas).
But first, someone please tell why I have been listening to the SIRIUS Kid's Tunes music channel for the past hour. I really need to get a grip.
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