I'm sick of the melodramatic emonoid bullshit that goes on in social networking sites. I know most people are so busy concealing their pain in the real world, and online is about the only place they can surrender to the illusion that people actually pay attention to them when they rant about their lives. Why must some people constantly insist on being so goddamn depressing, though? I know, I know, if you can't get into the school or win the job or be with the person you want, why even go on LIVING in this meaningless hollow existance (sic), right??!?!?!?!?!!! I know you must feel life is little more than a seemingly endless series of terrible tragedies, but surely you can send your doom and gloom to the backseat for a few moments and pull something positive out of your ass now and then, even if it's just a polished turd.
It's a beautiful evening. Once I grab a shower I'm off to Waimea to hit the supermarket and enjoy a little walk in the woods. Thank goodness it's so easy to at least physically escape from what irritates me.
Apr 18, 2008
Apr 15, 2008
Closer to gods
Gemini Observatory on LGS, Mauna Kea, HawaiiI met the spotting team for that evening at the astronomy center in Hilo. The lead spotter is responsible for driving the team up to the summit (an elevation gain of 13,000 feet), and the scenery all the way up is nothing short of spectacular and surreal. The weather was dark, rainy, and overcast from Hilo most of the way up, but once we reached the 7000 foot level or so, we broke out of the clouds instantaneously. It truly takes one by surprise to be under the clouds or in the fog for several hours then suddenly be greeted by deep blue sky and sunlight, as well as be granted commanding views of the other mountain summits, which rise like floating islands from a blanket of clouds that seems to stretch forever into the heavens.
From the summit, and even on the way up from the visitor center, one gazes down at a thick blanket of clouds, often aglow with a variety of orangeish or pinkish hues at sunset. One can easily feel like they are on top of the world. Of course, up here, with just a little imagination, you can fool your mind into believing you are on another planet. Another impressive sight is the mountain's shadow projected against the clouds. It's similar to being in an airplane late in the day and watching the plane's shadow from a window seat, only one can imagine how much more significant the shadow of the world's tallest mountain is.
We stopped at the astronomers' living quarters just uphill from the visitors center for dinner. Plenty of good free food, and a very nice open, airy ambiance for dining and lounging, with a kind of view one would expect at 11,000 feet. The building also has a nice dark TV lounge, several recliners, and a couple pool tables and darts, so it's not a bad place to hang for a little while and become acclimated before heading up to the summit.
Gemini is the absolute highest observatory up here, and yes, the air is very thin and cold. So we've got our warm clothes, snazzy orange jumpsuits, and oxygen masks. We spent the first two hours or so in the observatory just sitting in the base floor control center surfing the web while the operators used natural guide star (which, unlike LGS or laser guide star, isn't necessary to spot for).
The non web-surfing, hot cocoa-drinking, movie-watching aspect of the job involves sitting in an SUV and watching the night sky for aircraft that may fly over and interfere with the laser during LGS operations. We just have to record any sightings of aircraft on a data sheet, and if any aircraft happens to stray too close, notify the telescope operator, or in the event of a rare emergency, press a magic button to shutter the laser. We take turns, one of us going out to watch the east sky for an hour, one of us the west sky for the same amount of time, then come back inside and break for an hour while the other two spotters go outside for an hour. Theoretically, we do this from sunset to sunrise, depending on atmospheric conditions such as the presence of the thermal inversion layer (which usually ensures the sky above a certain elevation is cloudless and free of volcanic emissions which can directly interfere with telescope operations).
I will say that the summit of Mauna Kea is very otherworldly and indescribably peaceful on the middle of a moonlit night. The temperature is around 30 degrees up there, but I certainly don't find that too cold. I'm accustomed to climbing mountains day or night for leisure, so I don't object to standing at the edge of the world in a location which offers some of the best stargazing on the planet. That one night I worked so far, I witnessed the most gorgeous moonset I had ever seen. It appeared almost as a subdued sunset, staining much of the western horizon multiple colours of orange. Now that is some celestial brush. Though, even that wasn't as beautiful as watching the stars up there once the sky darkened completely. The stars seem so close and in such great abundance up there I nearly felt like I could just reach out and grab one.
As I write this, we are actually on standby, waiting in the lounge while the operators at the summit decide whether they're going to do any LGS at all tonight. The weather conditions are not ideal due to a storm moving in from the west, cutting off the trade winds, and sending gas from the volcano up this way. In the meantime, this is a very cozy place to chill.
Loving island weather
I drove down to Kona yesterday to apply for an afternoon/evening job at the distribution center of the west side's newspaper. It was a typical Kona afternoon; completely overcast with massive, dark rain clouds hovering over the upper mountain slopes, volcanic haze obscuring the sky and ensuring the sun was nowhere in sight, and heavy southbound rush hour traffic. I did make it to the office by 4 pm to file the application, then, as usual, left the masses behind by driving up the mountain and into the pleasant rainshowers.
The funny thing about Kona is that I really don't like the place in the morning, since it's almost unbearably sunny and hot and still in the early daylight hours, but when afternoon rolls around, the sea breezes pick up, which almost always causes dark heavy rain clouds to form over the mountain slopes, and blows in the massive amounts of sulfur dioxide emitted from the active volcano over land, bathing the landscape in an odd haze. It's not unsightly like L.A. smog, but rather just peculiar-looking. It does make for unforgettable sunsets, since viewers are able to gaze directly at the sun as soon as an hour before it dips before the horizon without harming their eyes. It appears an almost scarlet red and resembles another planet. This is part of the reason Kona sunsets are world famous. Kona is far from my favorite location on the island, mostly because of how congested with tourists it usually is, but it can be a wonderful place to spend time in during late afternoons and evenings.
For the longest time I've been fascinated with island weather patterns. Where I live, the air is pure, and rain and strong winds are frequent at any time of day or night, whereas Kona receives 95% of its rain in the late afternoon. Just five miles southeast of my house, annual rainfall is around 100 inches. Five miles southwest, annual rainfall is less than 10 inches. Since I live near the middle of a peninsula which is nearly symmetrically divided lengthwise between a wet side and a dry side, depending which direction I decide to travel down the highway, I'll either end up on dry, dusty coastline riddled with thorny mesquite trees or on a damp, foresty coastline characterized by dramatic sea cliffs buffeted by trade winds and spontaneous rain showers much of the time. Depending on exactly where one lives in the town of Waimea, they are usually either basking in the sunshine or wrapped in the cool embrace of fog and drizzle most of the time throughout the year.
Hawaii weather is truly unique, and frankly, mainland weather is very boring by comparison. It's no wonder so many of my local photographs include rainbows. Here, it seems to be raining while the sun is out more often than either or.
The funny thing about Kona is that I really don't like the place in the morning, since it's almost unbearably sunny and hot and still in the early daylight hours, but when afternoon rolls around, the sea breezes pick up, which almost always causes dark heavy rain clouds to form over the mountain slopes, and blows in the massive amounts of sulfur dioxide emitted from the active volcano over land, bathing the landscape in an odd haze. It's not unsightly like L.A. smog, but rather just peculiar-looking. It does make for unforgettable sunsets, since viewers are able to gaze directly at the sun as soon as an hour before it dips before the horizon without harming their eyes. It appears an almost scarlet red and resembles another planet. This is part of the reason Kona sunsets are world famous. Kona is far from my favorite location on the island, mostly because of how congested with tourists it usually is, but it can be a wonderful place to spend time in during late afternoons and evenings.
For the longest time I've been fascinated with island weather patterns. Where I live, the air is pure, and rain and strong winds are frequent at any time of day or night, whereas Kona receives 95% of its rain in the late afternoon. Just five miles southeast of my house, annual rainfall is around 100 inches. Five miles southwest, annual rainfall is less than 10 inches. Since I live near the middle of a peninsula which is nearly symmetrically divided lengthwise between a wet side and a dry side, depending which direction I decide to travel down the highway, I'll either end up on dry, dusty coastline riddled with thorny mesquite trees or on a damp, foresty coastline characterized by dramatic sea cliffs buffeted by trade winds and spontaneous rain showers much of the time. Depending on exactly where one lives in the town of Waimea, they are usually either basking in the sunshine or wrapped in the cool embrace of fog and drizzle most of the time throughout the year.
Hawaii weather is truly unique, and frankly, mainland weather is very boring by comparison. It's no wonder so many of my local photographs include rainbows. Here, it seems to be raining while the sun is out more often than either or.
Apr 13, 2008
The virtue of embracing the inevitable
I'm glad I am not a god of this world. I would loathe having hundreds of millions of people blaming me for their problems because they refuse to take responsibility for their stupidity, or begging me to fix a world they fucked up all by themselves. There is no need to worry about saving the planet, however; she will have no trouble correcting herself soon after our departure, for she has several billions of years' experience dealing with much worse calamities. Humanity's arrogance knows no bounds, but the same is true for nature's ability and unrelenting fight to restore equilibrium. So bring on the monster storms, throw in some killer waves, and let our "progress" unravel. The forces that be, no matter what you choose to call them, and whether you choose to bow down or simply admire them, shall always prevail. It's inevitable, you see.
Apr 10, 2008
Practical living
We were told by the mechanic initially that only the damaged rotor would have to be replaced for just under $350. Several days later he tells us that the caliper, cable, and whatever else are also bad, and the parts will have to be ordered from the mainland. Now parts and labor totals around $1150. I've seen this happen more times than I care to count, because mechanics are notorious for ripping you off with great frequency.
Admittedly, though I know it does the environment no good, I enjoy driving. Just me, my music, lovely scenery, and the freedom of the open road. However, I believe the sooner I can situate myself where I can commute wherever I must sans automobile, the better off I'll be. When I think about how much money and effort people pour into purchasing, fueling, insuring, maintaining, repairing, and worrying over their automobiles (another example of the things you own ending up owning you), it's enough to make me strongly consider forgoing ever owning my own car again. I would rather forget all the little problems I experienced with the previously owned Honda Civic I drove around Arizona.
I know that owning a car (or two, but preferably at least three) is a critical element of the 'American Dream,' but lately, most of my dreams have been taking place outside of America. I'm fairly disgusted with this country as a whole, but if I do move anywhere else within its borders, it's likely going to be to one of the least 'American' places possible.
On this island, everything is so ridiculously spread out, it's impractical not to have and use a car unless you can afford to live right in the middle of one of the two 'major' towns. If I lived somewhere like Honolulu or Portland, Oregon, however, I would be happy to rely on mass transit, a bicycle, and my good old-fashioned legs. If all else fails, a simple moped would do. Not nearly so much can go wrong with a moped as a car, and they're safer than motorcycles, at least in the sense that you can't really go too fast on one. They would be perfect for an island like Oahu, where steep hills often preclude commuting comfortably by bicycle, but everything is much closer together, and traffic and parking can be a nightmare for those driving automobiles.
Meanwhile, $1150 to replace one disc brake on a pickup truck that is nearly as old as I am. I could get a luxurious widescreen 1080 dpi LCD HDTV for that amount of money... not that I need or even care about having one. Rather than grumbling about the cost of gasoline or food, people need to learn how to adjust to changing times. The media is always convincing people that they absolutely must have this or that, when in fact they don't need it at all and would be better off without it. As paradigms shift rapidly in these bleak economic times, those who possess sound financial judgment and practice better spending disgression today will find it much easier to adjust and ride the wave rather than getting pounded by it. Contrary to what many people seem to believe, it's not how hard you work or how much money you make so much as how you handle the money you do earn. I would prefer a lifestyle where I am working to live, not living to work.
Admittedly, though I know it does the environment no good, I enjoy driving. Just me, my music, lovely scenery, and the freedom of the open road. However, I believe the sooner I can situate myself where I can commute wherever I must sans automobile, the better off I'll be. When I think about how much money and effort people pour into purchasing, fueling, insuring, maintaining, repairing, and worrying over their automobiles (another example of the things you own ending up owning you), it's enough to make me strongly consider forgoing ever owning my own car again. I would rather forget all the little problems I experienced with the previously owned Honda Civic I drove around Arizona.
I know that owning a car (or two, but preferably at least three) is a critical element of the 'American Dream,' but lately, most of my dreams have been taking place outside of America. I'm fairly disgusted with this country as a whole, but if I do move anywhere else within its borders, it's likely going to be to one of the least 'American' places possible.
On this island, everything is so ridiculously spread out, it's impractical not to have and use a car unless you can afford to live right in the middle of one of the two 'major' towns. If I lived somewhere like Honolulu or Portland, Oregon, however, I would be happy to rely on mass transit, a bicycle, and my good old-fashioned legs. If all else fails, a simple moped would do. Not nearly so much can go wrong with a moped as a car, and they're safer than motorcycles, at least in the sense that you can't really go too fast on one. They would be perfect for an island like Oahu, where steep hills often preclude commuting comfortably by bicycle, but everything is much closer together, and traffic and parking can be a nightmare for those driving automobiles.
Meanwhile, $1150 to replace one disc brake on a pickup truck that is nearly as old as I am. I could get a luxurious widescreen 1080 dpi LCD HDTV for that amount of money... not that I need or even care about having one. Rather than grumbling about the cost of gasoline or food, people need to learn how to adjust to changing times. The media is always convincing people that they absolutely must have this or that, when in fact they don't need it at all and would be better off without it. As paradigms shift rapidly in these bleak economic times, those who possess sound financial judgment and practice better spending disgression today will find it much easier to adjust and ride the wave rather than getting pounded by it. Contrary to what many people seem to believe, it's not how hard you work or how much money you make so much as how you handle the money you do earn. I would prefer a lifestyle where I am working to live, not living to work.
May 29, 2006
Nightfall Overture
Just another midnight hour
Enjoying the cold of a dark winter night
I see the darkness devour
Everything that once was light
And the stars in the sky
Are so lifeless and so grey
Walking in the light of the moon
When the night repairs the day
From the trees come a mournful tune
I am not alone I can hear them say
The moon is your guide
There is no place you can hide
Oh, when the night comes down
And all the colours turn black and white
Oh, when the night comes down
And the dark is conducting the nightfall overture
Who am I in the eyes of the world
What have I done that will remain
Who am I? Will I ever know?
But right now I am the king of this winterlane
Is there anybody out there?
In the middle of the mist in the field
The air doesn't relieve me anymore
Something is here that I have never felt before
...And it's closing in on me...
I am lost in the maze of the night
Surrounded by lights so dark
I am losing all track of time
I'm trying to come out of this endless park
And the air is so dry
I can hear the daylight cry
...Is there anybody out there?...
I see the day is coming
The night is led astray
The dawn of new desires
The end of yesterday
I walk the road to nowhere
Ah, that's what I call home
If I only knew what I was heading for,
But I don't have a place to roam
And then I heard the voices calling
Across the sky in flames
I could hear them clearer now
Once again I could hear them say:
Dream, dream!
I hear the shadows say
Go to sleep my friend!
But I'll remain awake
Dream, dream!
I hear the shadows say
Go to sleep my friend!
Dream, dream!
I hear the shadows say
Go to sleep my friend!
Could be my last mistake
Dream, dream!
I hear the shadows say
Go to sleep my friend!
From a place of shelter
Where I could get some rest
I was so cold but I couldn't care
And soon the sun caressed
Dream, dream!
I hear the shadows say
Go to sleep my friend!
But I'll remain awake
Dream, dream!
I can hear them say
Close your eyes my friend!
Dream, dream!
I hear the voices say
Go to sleep my friend!
I'll make no more mistake
Dream, dream!
I could hear them say
Go to sleep my friend!
My frozen eyes refuse to see
Something tells me it's too dangerous to sleep
It's like I've been through this before
Here I am! Frozen to the core
...Frozen to the core...
I know I must be dreaming
Or am I still awake
Hallucinations rule me
But right now, what difference does it make?
...I am falling again...
Dream, dream!
I hear the shadows say
Go to sleep my friend!
But I remain awake
Dream, dream!
I hear the shadows say
Go to sleep my friend!
Dream, dream!
I hear the darkness breathe
Go to sleep my friend!
And I fade away
Dream, dream!
I heard the voices say
Close your eyes my friend!
And now I fade away
Dream, dream!
And now I fade away...
Enjoying the cold of a dark winter night
I see the darkness devour
Everything that once was light
And the stars in the sky
Are so lifeless and so grey
Walking in the light of the moon
When the night repairs the day
From the trees come a mournful tune
I am not alone I can hear them say
The moon is your guide
There is no place you can hide
Oh, when the night comes down
And all the colours turn black and white
Oh, when the night comes down
And the dark is conducting the nightfall overture
Who am I in the eyes of the world
What have I done that will remain
Who am I? Will I ever know?
But right now I am the king of this winterlane
Is there anybody out there?
In the middle of the mist in the field
The air doesn't relieve me anymore
Something is here that I have never felt before
...And it's closing in on me...
I am lost in the maze of the night
Surrounded by lights so dark
I am losing all track of time
I'm trying to come out of this endless park
And the air is so dry
I can hear the daylight cry
...Is there anybody out there?...
I see the day is coming
The night is led astray
The dawn of new desires
The end of yesterday
I walk the road to nowhere
Ah, that's what I call home
If I only knew what I was heading for,
But I don't have a place to roam
And then I heard the voices calling
Across the sky in flames
I could hear them clearer now
Once again I could hear them say:
Dream, dream!
I hear the shadows say
Go to sleep my friend!
But I'll remain awake
Dream, dream!
I hear the shadows say
Go to sleep my friend!
Dream, dream!
I hear the shadows say
Go to sleep my friend!
Could be my last mistake
Dream, dream!
I hear the shadows say
Go to sleep my friend!
From a place of shelter
Where I could get some rest
I was so cold but I couldn't care
And soon the sun caressed
Dream, dream!
I hear the shadows say
Go to sleep my friend!
But I'll remain awake
Dream, dream!
I can hear them say
Close your eyes my friend!
Dream, dream!
I hear the voices say
Go to sleep my friend!
I'll make no more mistake
Dream, dream!
I could hear them say
Go to sleep my friend!
My frozen eyes refuse to see
Something tells me it's too dangerous to sleep
It's like I've been through this before
Here I am! Frozen to the core
...Frozen to the core...
I know I must be dreaming
Or am I still awake
Hallucinations rule me
But right now, what difference does it make?
...I am falling again...
Dream, dream!
I hear the shadows say
Go to sleep my friend!
But I remain awake
Dream, dream!
I hear the shadows say
Go to sleep my friend!
Dream, dream!
I hear the darkness breathe
Go to sleep my friend!
And I fade away
Dream, dream!
I heard the voices say
Close your eyes my friend!
And now I fade away
Dream, dream!
And now I fade away...
May 22, 2006
From beautiful to obscene to a squirrel who found his nuts
We all went to Makalawena Beach yesterday- another one of Hawaii's relatively secret coastal treasures. The sun never came out, but I am certainly capable of enjoying a beach at least as much without direct sunlight. Dark grey clouds were rolling off the mountain all day and it rained on the way to the beach, but it only slightly drizzled once or twice there. The access road down was in every bit as bad a shape as I remember it, but it's still fun to drive, even after giving the bottom of the chassis a nice scraping against a steep rocky platform. Bishop Estate owns the road and the land surrounding it, meaning that there is a strict limit on how much you are legally allowed to enjoy yourself, but it also means that it's protected from the threat of over-development. Win some, lose some. Nobody bothered us as we dug holes and constructed sand fortresses, enjoying ourselves in the simplest fashion for free. Like young children. In fact, we were the only ones left on the entire beach. I was tired by late afternoon since I had gotten up at 2 in the morning for work and did seven hours of it, but I also got the chance to meditate in a beautiful atmosphere and be amongst splendid company.
photos
We also watched Over the Hedge later that evening, which was more good, light-hearted entertainment. I would have to say my favourite portion of the film is when the already perpetually invigorated Hammy goes on his energy drink kick. Weird, wild stuff happens, but you'll have to see it to found out!
I can't exactly recall the reason why, but sometime before pizza and the movie, we wandered into Big K-Mart. That equated to my bizarre experience for the day. I really don't know the reason, but just being in there was starting to depress the hell out of me. Certain atmospheres, especially those directly related to my physical senses, have the ability to significantly affect my mood, and I found it difficult to imagine a worse atmosphere than the one that store had.
I suppose I could begin with the lighting. It was so bright in there I was nearly blinded after just stepping in, and each subsequent moment I was in there, to tell the truth. It was just row after row of mercilessly brilliant white flourescent strip lighting, stretching almost as far as the eye could see. It was so cold, uniform, and terribly uninviting. I felt like I was about to go under the knife. I felt faint. It was even worse than Wal-Mart's lighting.
The odours could have been worse. About all I could smell was the overwhelming fragrance of cheap, mediocre merchandise machine-crafted to fulfill someone's desire for over-consumption, and misery. Though the misery could have been my own. The mere thought of having to work in such a place only boosted it. Within a week of working there, I would be reduced to a zombie. A thoughtless, unemotional zombie who would be a constant insomniac, for the lights would still be blinding me even after settling into bed and closing my eyes. I definitely took into account Costco's much more inviting atmosphere when deciding to start working there.
Stuck in a small American town where nothing of interest happens and there is barely anywhere to escape to even if you had the means, where K-Mart is the exciting place to go on a Sunday night to pick up some supplies for the big first day at boarding school bright and early tomorrow morning. They just have to look cool enough so the other kids don't tease you. They will anyway, though, because you're new and not quite perfectly human.
Don't mind me; I'm quite gifted at imagining worst possible situations for myself, and certain things inspire me to do that.
Everything was so organized, so systematic, so orderly and predictable. Restrictive, uncompromising, overpowering. It felt like a stunning representation of reality at its worst. And to imagine, so many K-Marts look almost exactly the same all across the continent. It reminded me how ugly, revolting, and compliant with the uniform standards of bleakness and dreadful mediocrity so much of the U.S.A. has become in just about everything but its lesser commercialized natural attractions.
photos
We also watched Over the Hedge later that evening, which was more good, light-hearted entertainment. I would have to say my favourite portion of the film is when the already perpetually invigorated Hammy goes on his energy drink kick. Weird, wild stuff happens, but you'll have to see it to found out!
I can't exactly recall the reason why, but sometime before pizza and the movie, we wandered into Big K-Mart. That equated to my bizarre experience for the day. I really don't know the reason, but just being in there was starting to depress the hell out of me. Certain atmospheres, especially those directly related to my physical senses, have the ability to significantly affect my mood, and I found it difficult to imagine a worse atmosphere than the one that store had.
I suppose I could begin with the lighting. It was so bright in there I was nearly blinded after just stepping in, and each subsequent moment I was in there, to tell the truth. It was just row after row of mercilessly brilliant white flourescent strip lighting, stretching almost as far as the eye could see. It was so cold, uniform, and terribly uninviting. I felt like I was about to go under the knife. I felt faint. It was even worse than Wal-Mart's lighting.
The odours could have been worse. About all I could smell was the overwhelming fragrance of cheap, mediocre merchandise machine-crafted to fulfill someone's desire for over-consumption, and misery. Though the misery could have been my own. The mere thought of having to work in such a place only boosted it. Within a week of working there, I would be reduced to a zombie. A thoughtless, unemotional zombie who would be a constant insomniac, for the lights would still be blinding me even after settling into bed and closing my eyes. I definitely took into account Costco's much more inviting atmosphere when deciding to start working there.
Stuck in a small American town where nothing of interest happens and there is barely anywhere to escape to even if you had the means, where K-Mart is the exciting place to go on a Sunday night to pick up some supplies for the big first day at boarding school bright and early tomorrow morning. They just have to look cool enough so the other kids don't tease you. They will anyway, though, because you're new and not quite perfectly human.
Don't mind me; I'm quite gifted at imagining worst possible situations for myself, and certain things inspire me to do that.
Everything was so organized, so systematic, so orderly and predictable. Restrictive, uncompromising, overpowering. It felt like a stunning representation of reality at its worst. And to imagine, so many K-Marts look almost exactly the same all across the continent. It reminded me how ugly, revolting, and compliant with the uniform standards of bleakness and dreadful mediocrity so much of the U.S.A. has become in just about everything but its lesser commercialized natural attractions.
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