Comfort Zone, Act I

Lately, whenever I turn on the TV, I find the programming to be much too 'human-centric.' I wouldn't mind at all if TV mainly consisted of a camera simply following another species of animal and its behaviors. There wouldn't even have to be any narration. If I had the option of paying a dollar a month for just one channel showing such footage constantly, I would. I would enjoy that more than any of the other shit I find on television. After reading Call of the Wild by Jack London, I'm only more inclined to read a story told through the perspective of a dog or some other intelligent animal besides a human. *shrugs* I'm sick of people and their petty bullshit, and how they always focus everything on them. I think I'd much rather watch an informative and intelligent documentary about meerkats or some relatively obscure species of rat than the news, daytime talk shows, shitty aspiring pop stars, or 'Hole in the Wall.'

The misanthropic tendencies that I often feel must be partially bourne out of all the verbal abuse and bullying I suffered throughout childhood for being "strange," and my just feeling like an entirely different animal than humankind most of my life. But that can't be all. Regardless of my personal past experiences, it's impossible for me not to strongly dislike humanity as a unit, and I know many others feel the same. I am unable to love my "fellow man" and I've no desire to try. It just does too many despicable and outrageous things. Considering that the public I have to deal with in my own town is simply a tiny sample of the population at large, I know why I am ashamed rather than proud of this species.

Some might say the Devil is the ultimate corrupting force, but the Devil is simply power. Humanity is charged with a tremendous excess of power but its actions are guided by a tragic lack of wisdom. Not a promising combination. For its own short-term benefit it eliminates hundreds of thousands of other species, scars the very planet on which it depends to survive, and disrupts the natural balance of ecosystems, all of which only comes back to hurt the population in the end. It's just a highly evolved, extremely intricate parasite with funny-looking hats sucking the life force out of the Earth and giving little back but the belches and farts of its factories, machines, and bred-to-be-butchered livestock on broad swatches of deforested land. Maybe once humanity wisens up enough to learn how to live in harmony with the natural environment again, I'll respect it a bit more. Until then, I find hope in more and more people becoming environmentally conscious and taking such small steps as picking up litter, planting trees, or volunteering in animal shelters.

So I may inherently love and respect and admire all other members of all other species, save for my natural enemies who are after my blood or seeking to contaminate my food, but humans are the one exception. I can only love and respect and admire certain, select individuals, the ones that have earned it. For example, Trent Reznor through his vast catalogue of splendid music, and my friends and family for their love and support and simply being their selves. But regardless of what it has accomplished and the marvels it is responsible for, I can't be proud of humanity, any more than I am proud that I have elbows. I'm proud only of my parents for raising me to be a steward of Mother Earth, to respect all animals, and care for and appreciate the natural environment.

I've also realized that I'm not really antisocial. I'm just not too socially inclined or interested in "chit-chat," or meeting bunches of people. I'm awfully introverted, that much is true... but only around humans. With dogs, for instance, I act perfectly natural thinking nothing of it. With people, I can't behave anything close to naturally. They are so touch-phobic, yet they have no problem directing soluble words in my direction all the time. I jump whenever someone touches me, intentionally or accidentally, simply because I'm not used to it. But people talk at me all the time, while I choose to only talk to people. Blabbermouths can really annoy me, while I almost always use speech as a tool, not a pastime. I prefer to maintain a sort of dignified aura of mystery, so it's no wonder I have no interest in facebook or myspace and putting my life up for everyone to see. Anytime anyone asks me if I use either of those, I just say, "never heard of it," and then enjoy the bewildered looks or incredulous comments that ensue.

If people spent more time hugging each other and less time fishing for topics of superficial conversation to cover up perceived 'awkward' moments, the world might be a happier place. No wonder I just sort of naturally fell into the furry niche. It suits me like nothing else ever would, and has been responsible for bringing more love, warmth, joy, security, and genuine companionship into my life than I ever could have imagined years ago. I guess even the most socially estranged have a place somewhere... I'm just glad I discovered mine while I'm still so young.