May 24, 2005

Zoophobia.

Today's experience reminded me exactly why I abhor the zoo, even though I didn't necessarily need any reminding. As with many things on an isolated island, our zoo is small, and the admission is free. Ironically, the zoo is accessed using the same road that leads to Kulani Prison approximately twenty miles away. I had never visited this zoo before, and it took a mandatory physical anthropology excursion to finally get me to go.

First of all, the zoo was littered with hundreds of kids, all participants in various elementary school field trips. Many of them were hooting and hollering and screaming like juvenile primates, and generally showing less maturity and civilised behaviour than your average monkey. After about 45 minutes of dealing with swarms of these annoying clods, my temper was raised and I was ready to extend my claws and shred me some fresh meat. The multiple comments on the "great weather" only further vexed me, for I was already glistening with sweat; partly from the hot sun and lack of breeze, and partly from the effort it required to contain my instinctual urge to introduce the surrounding occupants to an uncaged wolf. Fortunately, the zoo has no wolves locked up, but it does have a gorgeous white tiger whom I almost felt ashamed to be looking at. It was difficult to look at any of the animals on exhibition, not only because it goes entirely against my set of personal morals and was entirely unnatural, but because their miniature habitats were clearly unsatisfactory. Let's apply a little logic. Arboreal monkeys dwell primarily in trees. Very few of the aboreal monkeys had trees in their cages, let alone any foliage at all. None of the primates save for the lemurs had any places to retreat to for privacy, either. It's abysmal. I learned that several of the enclosures were illegal according to the zoological society. No animal behaviouralist experts work for the zoo, so most of its caretakers are buffoons when it comes to knowing what's best for the animals. I would find it hard to believe that this zoo isn't a primary target of animals right organisations. Several animals introduced to the zoo have died months later due to poor decisionmaking regarding how the animals should be treated and what living conditions should be provided for them.

I would rather take a tour of the Kulani Prison and observe a bunch of ruffians behind bars. Most of them did something to warrant being thrown in prison; animals were simply being themselves. Most of them are guilty of some crime; animals are innocent. If animals are to be contained for any reason, they at least deserve a close, habitable simulation of their natural environment, appropriate feeding measures, and proper care by one or more experts. They also should have the right to privacy. If a primate or any other creature wishes to hide somewhere so they aren't gawked at by rude, insensitive humans all day long, they should have a place to do so. If they naturally like to play in the water, they should have some water. If their natural tendency is to hop from tree to tree, give them trees. Of course, if it were up to me, zoos would not exist, and neither would circuses that use animals for the entertainment of people. It's a disgusting tradition.

I usually get very emotional when it comes to animals, because... well, they are one of the few things in life really worth getting emotional over. I'd feel more comfortable crying at a zoo than at a funeral for some relative I barely knew.

To end on a positive note... lemurs are precious. And their name is latin for "nocturnal spirits." Unfortunately, almost half of lemur species are endang-- . . . I said I was going to end this on a positive note. **Runs off playing his fiddle on a positive note**

Meh.

This morning, I actually wasn't awakened by construction workers as they have finished their building next door for the time being, allowing me to obtain an extra hour of sleep. Some time before 8:30, I experienced a brief yet very strange dream that was remarkably similar to the famous scene from Being John Malkovich. For those who have viewed the entire film with the slightest hint of interest, it's hard to forget the sequence taking place in a classy restaurant. Every single occupant in the restaurant resembles John Malkovich in some form, and though the place was abuzz with conversation, the only word used was "Malkovich... Malkovich... Malkovich..." It was all about Malkovich.

My dream actually brought me back to my American literature class a few semesters ago. While the students and instructor all looked distinctive, the only word coming out of their mouths was "meh... meh... meh... meh... meh... meh... meh." When I was called upon to share my opinion on a particular reading, I tried to break the absurdity by saying something other than "meh," but unfortunately, I was unable to. While I was dreaming, I found it bizarre, but when I awoke, I thought it to be wildly funny.

Meh, I tell you. Meh. Meh. Meh.

To this day, I still have no idea what "meh" means, nor the reason so many people say it online. At least it isn't as bad as "feh."

May 23, 2005

When it Comes.



The sum total of your deepest fears gradually rise
like the seering sun and its jagged rays carving a scarlet sky
so long from now is the darkness in which your anxiety can hide.

For an overly warm, excruciatingly sunny (hello just about every other day in May) Monday morning preceding a week jam-packed with mind-dulling routine, the already dismal atmosphere complemented by the lovely sounds of a rider mower and the usual furious pounding of nails and whirring of power saws next door, I seem to be handling myself incredibly well. I wonder how I do it, sometimes. Maybe I am quietly forcing myself deep down inside not to go Talbain on someone's ass.

Knowledge is power, but imagination is freedom.
Answers would only spoil the palatability of life's most delectable secrets.
Embrace the mystery, for nothing else grips with such passion.


. . . I may grow old, but I will never grow up.

May 22, 2005

You know... I have given a number of anime shows a fair trial, from the corny kiddie stuff to the more "adult" films ... and I still think anime is, for the most part, utterly cheesy and dull. Much of it I find to be utterly reprehensible, for that matter.


Comments on this post
Super Trunks Goku SSJ Saiyen Vegeta 08303239098 disagrees: Dragonian ballz is awesome and your gay!!!!@@!!!
Ichirinahoohah Takemaitoyota disagrees: SUZUKI SUZUKI MOTO WASABE WA p.P;;;;;;;;;;;;;'';'
The Splendiferous Paragon of Virtue disagrees: You ignomonious neanderthalic hoodwink. The omniscient goodness of anime and God is undisputed fact.
Piss in my socks with me disagrees: You stupid racist communist nazi hippie homo gay dumpalumpadink.
sephrothcloud182maiden disagrees!
dark shade shadow black lamp bulb disagrees: You're stupid. Go play in traffic. teehee, me so clever
Narutomusushi..//;thing fan disagrees: Narutomusushi..//;thing rulez and how dare you think anime is apprehensable whatever that means.
Six Febreeze of Inner Flatulence disagrees: OMGF DREAM THEATER AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!/\/m\m/\m//\m\/m\/m\/\/m\/m\/
Steve's Secret Admirer disagrees: hi steve
inuyassha babe 69 disagrees: um hi no idea wuts goin on but a/s/l any1???????? innuyasha is hoooooooooootttttt~~~~
Cradle of Vomit disagrees: BLEEEEEEECHHHHHHHHHH x_Xjjjjjjjj
Pocket Protector Orgasmatron: Star Wars... awesome. Star Wars... awesome. Star Wars... awesome. Star Wars... awesome. Star Wars... awesome. C3PO... hooooooooot. Timberwolf... gaaaaaaaaaay. Darrrrrrrrrrr shoooooooooooooort ciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrcuuuuuuuuuuiiiiiiit
Pigeon poop luver disagrees!
KF7marinehero57th disagrees: <3 crack + mah country




May 21, 2005

Animals do not equal robots.

Though I just started it last week, I have only 13 days of summer school left. It's nothing difficult at all thus far, save for the challenge of sitting in one spot for upwards of a span of two hours before venturing off to another class to sit for two hours ... again. This has struck me as quite a superb method of picking up quick credits, and I wish I had thought to do it last summer. I dropped my online course, community psychology, as soon as I read the syllabus's description of the required projects. It would have had me doing community service, interviewing members of the community, and actually conversing with people on a local level! **Feels faint** Well, it may have done me some good, but I didn't feel like going through the hassle coming fresh off the spring semester griddle. Instead, I enrolled in physical anthropology, which I did not care for at first, but seems to be increasingly interesting. The teacher is a bit of a weirdo, but then again... weird is often good. Maybe I'm just not accustomed to having teachers that kick off every lecture with various primate calls. At least its fitting, since the course is all about human evolution from primates. The more I study primates, in fact, the more fond of them I am becoming. Initially, I had a sort of neutral opinion about them, respecting them as I respect all animals, but not caring for them in particular. After observing their behaviours through educational media, however, it's donned on me how fascinating these creatures are, and how amazing it is what they are capable of. They have culture. They use tools. They organise elaborate communities. They convey emotion and all sorts of human-like behaviours. And yet, they are so wonderfully wild and admirably innocent in comparison to the world's most evolved species. Ring-tailed lemurs are just plain terrific.

I am also reminded of how much I always feel like an orangutan in a jungle full of chimpanzees. Chimps are noisy, gregarious and social creatures who love to stick their noses in the business of others, while orangutans are quiet, reclusive, and private, usually preferring to hide up in the treetops by themselves and observe the action below them rather than get involved. Enough said, really. I respect orangutans greatly, and I wouldn't mind being one.

As much knowledge as I am gaining from this course, it's also testing my patience and temper. To cite a specific example, the girl sitting next to me on Friday constantly snapping and chewing her gum through the entire duration of class was almost enough to make me flip out. Some things just bother me in the worst sort of way. I would have moved had there been one vacant seat in the entire classroom. I had to step out once to keep from strangling her. Pesky, pesky, pesky wolf. It gets far worse, though. A couple students in my class hold a firm belief regarding all animalkind that I strongly disagree with. They insist, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that animal behaviour is entirely pre-programmed- they cannot think, reason, or feel emotion, and they act entirely on instinct. They are incapable of feeling pain the way humans feel it, and their reactions to the environment are entirely the result of their instrinsic wiring.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. I have gotten myself into many arguments in the past versus these fools who subscribe to such thinking, and most of them refused to admit to seeing things any differently in the end. First of all, it is important to recognise and address the human error of anthropomorphising animals to the degree of exaggeration. That is, people too often confer human traits onto animals ... and plants and other objects, for that matter. "Anthropomorphic" is a great word to use, for it is long, precise, and sends many into a spiralling vortex of utter confusion. It's an effective tool for separating those who know what they're talking about from those who don't. A talking sandwich is anthropomorphic. So is a toilet with eyes and a mouth, telling you to purchase the latest greatest bowl cleaning product. The problem with anthropomorphism is that it often skews reality adversely, particularly concerning animals. Kids raised exclusively on Disney films would be led to believe that bears and chipmunks spend most of their time singing and dancing in the woods and solving crimes. Truthfully, most animals are usually entirely uninterested in human affairs. They probably don't feel the wide range of emotions that humans feel. They probably don't bother to plan out their day, plot revenge, or play tricks on their fellow friends. Or maybe they do. Who are we to know? To over-anthropomorphise animals is ignorant, sure. If your dog is hanging his head and looking up at you it isn't wise to assume that he is overcome with extreme guilt and would do anything for your affection. To assume that animals are incapable of feeling, however, is even dumber. Humans have no way of knowing what animals are thinking or feeling, or if they are thinking and feeling; they can only postulate. Furthermore, I have observed animals portraying quite a few emotions. Is this because I cognitively anthropomorphised them too much? Possibly, but I doubt it. When a golden retriever we had for several years passed away, our other dog began behaving very strangely. She would curl up on the porch even though she knew she previously wasn't allowed there and would never dare set paw upon it, and whimper incessantly. She also refused to eat much at all for a few days, as she remained curled up just above the exact spot that her canine friend had expired. Is it wrong to assume she might have been a little heavy-hearted and in a state of mourning? Or was it all just "pre-programmed" behaviour, completely built into her from the beginning? Canine companion perished. Must now whimper continuously and hang around porch. Must cease routine eating habits. Must behave in such a fashion that would humanistically be construed as sad.

...I think not. Animals are not robots, so some people should stop essentially insisting that they are wired like robots. Numerous studies have shown that primates exhibit many emotions, not to mention the capacity for conscious decision-making. Such data aren't hard to find. Isn't the sight of a young chimpanzee mourning the death of a family member self-evident enough? Instead of making such rash assumptions about animals in order to attempt to justify your "superiority" or your tendency to eat them up all the time, spend some time actually observing them and use your head. It's easy to anthropormorphise animals too much, as people by nature tend to apply their human biases to everything, but it's also far too easy to regard them as being much more simple-minded than they really are.

Anthropormorphism in the artistic sense, however, is lovely. I adore art featuring animal-human hybrids, amalgamated in their physical, psychological, and physiological traits. I have always found it greatly intriguing. Of course, one should not lose sight of the fact that humans are animals, as much as creationists et al would love to believe otherwise. How egocentric it is to think that humans were created separately and that animals were "designed" for their use. Oh dear, doesn't that sound suspiciously contrived and fabricated for obvious reasons.

Unfortunately, on Tuesday, our class is going to the local zoo. I have never been to the Panaewa Zoo, and have never had the slightest desire to go. I know I am not going to like what I see. I'm not sure how I am going to react, or if I will be able to keep myself together long enough to get out of there and release it all when I get home. A primate behind bars is difficult enough to see on film, but to actually be close enough to touch a similar creature in such a predicament . . . Fuck. This is going to hurt, but I care about my course mark. I felt more and more like going into a fit of rage the longer my lecturer discussed all the senseless experiments that have routinely been done on captive primates. Research for the betterment of mankind? Hardly. One example would be the experiment which involved injecting a high level of saccharin into the cheeks of an anesthetised chimp to observe the results. Of course, they injected more saccharin than any human would ever consume in a day. The animal suffered greatly for a conclusion that meant absolutely nothing and in no way benefitted the scientific community's knowledge pool. Tragically, the same thing happens constantly. While many primates are anesthetised preceding an operation, they often regain consciousness before the procedure is over. This is because a professional anesthesiologist would be "too expensive," and so the anesthesia is administered by amateurs in insufficient quantities. Imagine the sort of pain and suffering that a chimp experiences when it comes to, not even stitched up yet. Being confined in small cages is bad enough. I can respect physical anthropologists like Jane Goodall, who observe primates in their natural habitats and do not advocate actually harming the animals for purposes of research.

Still, vivisection is prevalent, done largely for the purpose of searching for cures and treatments to known diseases and medical conditions, no matter how much suffering is involved on behalf of the animals. I am still seeking a cure for humanity.

Sonic the Hedgehog forever.

Admittedly, I had a childhood idol. I obsessed over him for a good few months, and immensely adored him much of the rest of the time after I was first introduced to him. It wasn't human, though. In fact, it wasn't even of this world.

I was maybe 9 or 10 when I got my first taste of Sonic the Hedgehog. I was completely delirious, as well, lying around in my darkened bedroom early one Friday night, suffering a 103° fever. I was living way out in the country, and had nowhere to go and nothing to do but dizzily look out a window into the dreary pitch darkness. I was home alone with my mother, who was already sleeping, before my brother and father pull up, returning from town. When my father entered the house, he knocked on my door, and told me he had rented a couple of games at Scott's Video. I pried myself out of bed and thanked him for the games, then closed the door and examined them in the light. Super Monaco GP admittedly didn't sound at all interesting to me, but Sonic the Hedgehog certainly did. I didn't feel I was really up to playing any video games that night, but I was too intrigued by the game's name not to plug it in to my Sega Genesis and see what would come up.

When I caught my first sight of that little blue hedgehog, I immediately wanted to reach out and hug him. After seeing him for a mere few seconds, I forgot all about how terrible I was feeling. Everything else simply slipped away. I wanted to embrace him for simply being who he was, for that adorable grin of attitude on his gorgeous face, for showing up in my living room by some odd stroke of fate. I fell in love with him instantaneously, which is something I had never experienced before with any character or person. It was such a blissful feeling, I could not help but feel entirely rejuvenated. My forehead was no longer burning up, but my heart was ablaze with fondness.

I pressed the start button, and began to play the game. I was instantly drawn into the world. Oh, that music of Green Hill Zone. I still vividly recall the way that music filled the darkened bedroom as if I am actually there right now. I feel as if I am in a state of hypnosis as I write about it. It's easily the most nostaglia-inducing tune I know. Perhaps my lethargic state was partially responsible for me literally feeling as if I was a part of the world. I was in love with Sonic, and I was in love with his world. For a good two hours, the "real" world simply slipped away, and I got as far as Spring Yard Zone, before tiredly resetting the game and staring at Sonic some more. I felt as if he was my new best friend, and he would be for the rest of my life. Later that night, after I fell asleep, I unsurprisingly dreamt about him. I spent a great portion of the next day playing the game, and as I was sick, I had every excuse to simply lay there and play video games. I was somewhat heartbroken when my father had to return the game to the rental store, but naturally, I later begged my parents to purchase it. Sonic was easily one of my biggest childhood obsessions, and no matter how strange it seemed to people, he often tagged along with me most places I went. Oh, the adventures we embarked on during long dreary school days, passing the time away. Calvin had his Hobbes; I had my Sonic.

What may seem odd to many is he is still my idol, should I insist that I still have an idol. I do not care how silly it may sound. He'll always have a large place in my heart, because he was a huge part of my childhood. Unfortunately, his creator, the Sonic Team, gave him a new look several years ago, one I find contemptible in a wannabe urban tough guy sort of way. He now looks like the kind of idiot that would key your car and rob a pharmacy. Not a cool kind of hip. I'll always envision him as he appeared in the very first game, as he only looks right that way.

As for the games themselves, it's quite remarkable just how much they suit me. The first game starred a small, anthropomorphic furry woodland creature with a very cool attitude. It was up to him to save his lush, beautiful world from Dr. Robotnik, an ugly, fat, bald, crude, smelly old man. Robotnik's mission, after all, was to convert all the world's woodland creatures into robots and stop at nothing to completely industrialise the world for his own selfish good, even if it meant turning it into a hideous polluted wasteland devoid of life. Robotnik as an individual is a metaphor for all of humanity in the real world, and Sonic is... the hero of the animals. Each robot the player destroys in the game frees an animal which hops or flies or crawls to safety, and the reward for beating a stage is a giant tank full of trapped innocent animals to stomp open. Of course, Robotnik always hides behind his elaborate, environmentally destructive machines when battling Sonic, but this small, cunning blue creature has the power to completely smash his inventions with his bare fists. Just beautiful. The game is not only fun with its brilliantly designed stages, spectacular scenery, and lovely music, but also tremendously gratifying. There is nothing better than helping the least likely force one could imagine to save the world from humanity.

Yes, video games generally used to be so majestic... what happened? For awhile, I thought I had simply grown out of them, until I realised that I will never "grow up" nor have any desire to. Take your jaw-dropping cinematic sequences and ultra-realistic human heroes and shove it. When it comes to video games, my heart lies in the early to mid 90's, back when more video games required an imagination to enjoy and not the ability to withstand bad acting or war simulators.

No matter where the road may take you...

"Street Cafe" by Icehouse affects me like no other song I have across. Other songs from the 80's new wave phenomenon play with my emotions intensely, but none of them come close to matching this one. The opening keyboard melody alone is enough to stir something inside of me; something powerful and mysterious and beautiful. It's a magical feeling; best described as something between euphoria and contented awe and nostalgia. It summons up visions and dusty bottom-shelf memories, respectively, of wonderful times ahead and in my past. I can only think and dream of and feel the finest things in life; the most incredible sensations and experiences, while listening to this song. I will not say that it is orgasmic, for an orgasm, while often intense, comes and goes relatively quickly. Long after this song is over, I am left in a warm, tingly, dreamy state, wanting to simply embrace all the greatest things the world has to offer as I go cloud-hopping. It leaves me hungry for more, anticipatory of what the future has to offer while simultaneously remarkably nostalgic of what I have seen and felt in the past. I could easily imagine cruising a lonely highway through fields of trees or bare lava rock beneath the light of the full moon while listening to this song with a close friend, destinationless, no agenda. The song goes so far as to remind me that the best things in life -are- free and very simple, that we all have more power over our lives and our emotions than we often end up convincing ourselves we do. It could serve as my sole inspiration for fighting through another lousy day, knowing that better things are always in store. It fills me with a sense of uncompromisable optimism and a zest for being alive. I feel as if I have known this song all my life, even as I was introduced to it less than two years ago. Some may choose to live by a holy book; if I lived by anything material, I would live by this song, though the elements of it that affect me most are anything but tangible. A few songs, mainly of the trance genre, have inspired these sorts of emotions within me, but lately... this song has been doing it most effectively to an unparalleled degree. "Street Cafe" represents the epitome of what I look for in a song ... it is perfection, and I feel as if it was tailor-made for my heart and soul.

If there were no tomorrows
if there was just one more chance
I'd take it again
you know I'd take it again


I did at least a couple dozen miles of bicycling today. East from here is a very scenic road which twists and winds along gorgeous primitive coastline. I ended up visiting the remnants of a coastal settlement which was almost entirely swallowed up by a lava flow, and admittedly, it had a creepy ghost town quality to it. I counted about a hundred "no trespassing/keep out" signs along the gravel road which zig-zagged crudely over the young lava rock. I wasn't all too surprised to see a few houses recently built atop the lava. Humans, what am I to do with them? As I stood upon a barren field of lava rock and surveyed the area, I had a difficult grasping that less than a decade ago, I would have been standing in a lush forest, or perhaps in the yard of a native Hawaiian. The quietness in the air was somewhat disturbing, even melancholy. No one had died in the volcanic disaster, so I felt no ghostly presences, contrary to what I typically feel while exploring the Pololu Valley backwoods.

I also discovered a fast food place/ice cream parlour by the name of Verna's at the end of a road, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. The "Kaimu Sunrise" was excellent indeed, consisting of mango ice cream topped with strawberries. It wasn't cheap, either, but I was hot and craving something cold and sweet- it was worth it.

I got quite a bit of sun today... not enough to get uncomfortably red, but enough to feel as if I have obtained my share of sunlight. Perhaps a nice cool moonlight wander is in order for later tonight.

My photo blog has not been getting enough attention lately, and I feel somewhat guilty about not updating it, so I do plan to add some images to Reflections of Resplendency, soon.

One last thing for now. Am I wrong in thinking "forgotten memory" sounds suspiciously like an oxymoron?

May 20, 2005

With_Teeth

Nine Inch Nails' new album has been out in stores for several weeks now, and I compulsively snatched it when I saw it at Costco. It's a reflex of mine to grab anything NIN-related... it's a habit I just can't shake.

I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Dave Grohl (former Nirvana drummer, lead vocalist for the Foo Fighters) does the drumming for several tracks on this album. I adore the drum intro on "The Collector" in particular, and the drumming in several other songs. "Every Day is Exactly the Same" is my favourite track on the album by far, however, disregarding some of the lyrics. I love the melody. Unfortunately, it's probably the only track on the album that I am really fond of.

With_Teeth is certainly not a progressive album in any sense of the term. It's not a step beyond the inveritable masterpiece that was The Fragile, but rather a big step backwards. It seems to be more of a follow-up to The Downward Spiral than The Fragile. Fifteen years after Pretty Hate Machine, Trent apparently hasn't changed. He is still a whining little angst machine writing overly self-absorbed lyrics. He should have stopped with Things Falling Apart if this is the best he can come up with, honestly.

For the love of Rayg, Trent, get over yourself. No one really cares anymore. A decade ago, you were a very hip Gothic icon whose anger and animosity seemed incredibly genuine and warranted; now you just sound like an overdramatic has-been. Perhaps you should take a hint from the almighty Chris Vrenna and just continue to compose splendid, twisted music whilst keeping your mouth shut. I am really getting sick of hearing your nasally voice complaining about how dismal everything is. If "none of this really matters anymore" then why bother writing a song about it? Quit swearing and complaining so much and go find something that makes you happy. Listen to some upbeat trance or something, and take a chill pill. You know, for the longest time, I dreamt of your next album being ... well, something substantial, as in a significant step beyond the remarkable world of the The Fragile . . . not just yet another predictable and unconvincing pretense of anger and misery. You took a huge step backwards, and I, along with many other long-time fans, are very disappointed. **Shakes his paw-fist at you** I would bite you, but I know you'd enjoy it too much. Suck it up, Mr. Animosity, and take your Ritalin.

Of course, he'll always have suckers like me supporting his miserable life by purchasing his records out of habit, so I suppose there isn't much for him to worry about as he meddles in his overtly manufactured rage and estrangement. I still respect Trent greatly for all the work he has done in the past and the impact he has had on my life as a developing adolescent, but I would have rather seen him retire before producing this record. It's a disappointment. I shall attempt to salvage as much as I can from this album, but I think it's safe to say that I have outgrown Trent. After all these years, one would think he would have made some personal progress.

"Uninspired" is a most appropriate term to apply to this album. If you listen to one song off this album, though, make it "Every Day is Exactly the Same."

**Slips away to listen to The Fragile again, to remind him of all that's hauntingly beautiful**

Murmers from the old world garden.

There is so much I could write about concerning my life. I could expound on my multitudinous daily struggles, my recurrent psychological battles and fervent intrapersonal conflicts, or even just the most minute details of my day-to-day lifestyle. But... I choose not to. I don't find such matters to be that interesting--to dwell on in my mind, much less compose public blog entries about. Therefore, 99.99999% of what occurs in my life goes unrecorded in this journal, which sets me apart from... very few other journal owners, actually. I could hardly imagine falling into the habit of using this as a place to summarise every memorable event of every day. Rather, it's a place that is always here for me, where I can express my thoughts, ideas, and opinions as often or seldom as I prefer. I prefer most of what I share to be of a profound nature, though it does not necessarily have to be. Right now, I feel as if I am rambling on about nothing important like some jerk. Perhaps that realisation illuminates what has discouraged me from posting much at all, lately. These large compositions full of no one's writing but my own; no one's voice but my own. Me writing for the sake of showing off my writing. Well, that's not it really, but oddly, it makes me feel a little too conceited and grandiloquent to be comfortable sometimes. I have just been much more content shutting up and reading other journals and forum posts rather than contributing my own. I suppose there is nothing wrong with speaking up once in awhile.

I greatly appreciate the comments, though, and yes, I read every last one of them.

It is now raining in this town for the first time I have noticed this month, and I find it incredibly refreshing, just listening to it fall steadily outside my window. The sound of falling rain is one of the most appealing out of the five ways it can be sensed. Behind that is the incessant chorus of coqui frogs, ever-present at night. It is wonderful background music that persists from sundown to sun-up . . . and the dawn is especially magical, where the birds begin to chirp over the steady melodies of the frogs. If it happens to be raining at the same time, well . . . it's pure euphoria. This apartment is surrounded by dense trees and lush vegetation, so it comes with plenty of rainforesty sounds, despite its being located a hop, skip, and jump from downtown. I feel so fortunate to live in this type of setting.

Something so simple as the swaying of long slender leaves of ironwood trees in the mountain breeze can completely enchant me. It sounds like a very deep whispering that can be heard throughout the hills, as if sweet euphony is oozing like sap from the bark. When nothing else can be heard other than this soul-soothing whooshing noise, I find it makes me very sentimental. One cannot forget the roar of the ocean, either. I greatly enjoy camping by the shore, so I can hear the lapping of the waves up against the rocks and the sand as I drift in and out of slumber beneath a sky glistening with flinching stars.

The sounds of nature are too often taken for granted, since so much emphasis is usually placed on what we visually perceive. All you have to do the next time you wander out into the woods, or any natural landscape, though, is just close your eyes and concentrate on the sounds of nature. I don't care to imagine how different it would be without them. If only more people had the opportunity and the incentive to go out and appreciate nature in its finer, more undisturbed forms.

Good things do come from Pokemon, occasionally. Arcanines rule. (=

May 13, 2005

Me, myself, and me again.

I wish Star Wars--all the films, the cheesy novels, its pathetic rabid fans, the stupid characters, the tacky merchandise, the irksome music, the obnoxious media hype surrounding it--could somehow be compounded entirely into a blueberry muffin, which I would crush with a 20 pound sledgehammer then stomp on repeatedly until it assumes the appearance of an unidentifiable puddle of sludge. I adore effigies when they effectively represent something I dread. Even focusing your rage and frustration onto a tennis ball; imagining that it represents everything that's getting your goat, is a wonderful method for releasing some of this unpleasant emotion. It takes a considerable amount of mental discipline, however, to throw or strike the right thing when something must be thrown ... or struck. Punching bags and weight bags are ideal, but really... there is no way I could have one in my apartment.

It's not that I blow up easily, either. Of course, virtually no one else would even suspect that I flip out now and then, judging purely by how calm, collected, and stoic I -constantly- act around humans. It's very important to suit up and wear this disguise to blend in like a ginger snap in a leaf pile if I hope to get the day having garnered the least amount of attention possible. Even still, I cannot hope to conceal -all- my quirky behaviours, as there are simply too many of them. At the very least, though, I am never effusive in public. Even if I sometimes feel like breaking down in tears or laughing my head off in public, I never do. I would never give anyone the pleasure of witnessing such a scene.

It is great to have someone besides myself whom I can act naturally with. I find that my own company does get rather stale, sometimes, though I usually find myself so odd, random, and unpredictable that I usually end up entertaining myself no matter what. Rarely, very rarely, do I get bored. The more time you spend alone with yourself, the better you know yourself. By now, it's almost an unconscious thing, but ever since I was six or so, I perceived myself as being two different people. I still do. I talk to myself as if two people are conversing. The principle doesn't seem complicated until I attempt to actually analyse it. It has nothing to do with an imaginary friend, but rather . . . I view myself as myself -and- another person. It just comes naturally for me, and I do it without thinking. When I can be heard by human beings, I have these conversations in my mind rather than utilising my vocal cords, as talking to myself around people would attract far too much unwanted attention. In essence, there is me, my realistic perception of myself--who I really act like, what I truly believe I am. Then there's my idealised persona, which is essentially everything I aspire to be in one convenient package. Sound familiar? Really, it hardly seems that unusual now that I think about it. Anyway, we have a lot of talks. When I refer to myself as 'I,' I am really referring to both of us . . . together. I fight, I resolve, I share an incredible wealth of disjointed musings between me.

My spring semester is finally over, since I took my last final on Thursday. It included a painstaking write-up on exactly how I would design a research study, but I mired my way through it. I have traditionally always finished up spring semesters with a whimper, but this time around, I went out with quite a bit left in me. I should have higher marks this semester than I have had in any previous semester. Also, I have been looking around and seeing people graduate left and right. Admittedly, while I am happy for and proud of them, I am not very envious, especially after wandering around the campus yesterday afternoon . . . it was a very pleasant tropical day, and I was content to simply walk around the area for awhile while mentally preparing myself for my final final.


campus shots!


I have nothing planned for today... goodness, what a delightful feeling.
awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome

Slightly redundant? Yeah, I deal with it everyday. Find some synonyms (besides "cool," of course).

**Shrugs** I can't help it, but I have the strangest pet peeves.





Definitely.

May 8, 2005

Who can believe this journal is less than a year old?

Certainly not myself, and I am one of the very few who has closely followed it since its inception. I feel like I have owned this little slice of territory for at least a couple years, perhaps more. Then again, when I think of how much I have progressed as a lupine being since last May, well... it all begins to make sense. My first post was on the 24th of this month, so I would have to consider the 24th of May to be this journal's birthday. And... I actually used Livejournal before this? Frightening thought, very frightening indeed.

The entirety of this Saturday was spent shopping... at Costco for the usual smoking deals on groceries, for Mother's Day gifts, and for literature on the upcoming mainland trip. We shall be visiting the west coast of the mainland from Vancouver all the way down to San Diego, and it should be exciting. My father and I killed a couple hours at Borders today glazing over travel books and selecting a few of the best guidebooks to study up on and take with us. We plan to explore some major cities, namely Seattle, Portland, Vancouver, and San Francisco, and do a fair amount of wilderness hiking and camping. It will be a memorable experience, I'm sure, and... it will take place a mere month from now. We depart on the 9th of June, the same day of my last class in summer school, and we will be away from the tropics for a long time. I am hoping this will not only be an enjoyable trip, but an educational one as well. I do plan on hang gliding at least once, or bungee jumping... I'll settle for one or the other, but not neither.

I also purchased my mother a children's book for her kindergarten class, a beautiful bouquet of flowers, and a card. I know she will be pleased. And for myself, I picked up the new Nine Inch Nails album. It's obligatory.

And... I have finished all my projects for this semester, and have all week to study for my two final exams on Thursday and prepare for a five minute presentation thereafter. Oh, how much easier things are when I force my zany self not to procrastinate.

Self check-out stands.

Whose idea were they? Why are they becoming an increasingly common sight in major stores? What do they represent?

My father and I were shopping at Home Depot today, and ended up collecting a few items to ring up at the register. Only one 'regular' register was lit up, however, and it was entirely unoccupied. Actually, two female clerks were standing just on the other side, but their backs were turned and they were clearly too busy to serve any customers. After all, an entire section of self-check out stands was waiting nearby, waiting for the customer to take matters into his own hands and serve himself. I wandered over to these brilliant next-generation inventions, and simply marveled for a few moments...

Yes, with this breakthrough new feature, the customer can now be his own cashier! Forget the old-fashioned method of placing your items on a conveyor belt and having an actual human scan your UPC labels for you. You can do it all by yourself, providing you are competent enough to follow the instructions generated by a repetitious computer voice. It's really as simple as waving the bar codes of the items you intend to purchase over a flat glass surface. If you hear a beep, be sure to give yourself a pat on the back. The beep means you were successful. Now, simply repeat for all other items present in your basket, but be sure to place them on the counter to the left so the computer knows when to thank you for your business! Next comes the hard part... selecting your method of payment. If you have trouble deciphering the complicated symbols on the touch screen, you can always ask the clerk at the podium nearby. Certainly, she would not mind taking a break from watching you like a hawk or playing pocket Solitaire. If she's already busy assisting another valued self-check out customer who claims to have had a $50 bill eaten by the machine, though, you had better have bought something soft to sleep on while you're waiting. Alternatively, you could call the manager, who would pop up in the form of a holographic image who would quickly and professionally attempt to resolve your dilemma by encouraging you to press 1 for English, press 2 for Espanol, or press 3 for Francois. If you are able to make a successful payment, however, it's best to scoop up all your items in a hurry--the computer develops an impatient tone if you don't sweep all your purchased goods up off the counter in a matter of seconds. Indeed, there is nothing like the customer doing a cashier's job while the cashier stands by and watches the customer work.

That's what service is becoming like these days. Big outfits like Home Depot and Wal-Mart can certainly profit from placing a fair amount of the workload on the customers rather than hiring more cashiers. If someone can prove to me that self-check out stands were actually created and integrated into these stores for a different reason, one that actually serves to benefit the customers rather than give them the cold shoulder, I would appreciate it. Ordinarily, I prefer doing most things for myself, but when it comes to shopping at a store, I would at least like to experience the common courtesy of having my groceries scanned and bagged for me. As paradigms change, however, this could perhaps become a thing of the past. Perhaps all check out lines will become automated, and human labourers at the register will become a dying breed like men who deliver milk to houses. After all, when fixed capital can do the job more quickly and efficiently, and without requiring a coffee break, why use humans? Someday, "service with a smile" will be little more than a vestigial memory.

This is also evident when requesting a doggy bag or take-home box in a restaurant. I remember when the waitress or waiter would bring the container to the table, place the food the customer requested to be saved in the container, and then seal it up. Now, they do nothing more than give the container to the customer and expect them to do it for themselves... at least where I live. So much for a little extra effort, and so much for a better tip. It is quite saddening that service standards have dropped so substantially over the decades. People in this society generally do not seem to have as much pride in their work as they used to. I suppose multinational corporations can absorb much of the blame for that. Why bother delivering customer satisfaction when you are the king of capitalistic monopolies and could get away with murder?

May 6, 2005

Pig poo pollution panic



>> Chateauguay Valley residents fear massive hog farms will soil rivers, land and air

by KEN HECHTMAN

Holly Dressel, a member of the Haut-St-Laurent Rural Coalition, impatiently brushed aside a request for the top three environmental problems caused by the industrial hog farms planned for the Chateauguay Valley. “Before you list point 1: land degradation, point 2: water pollution, you have to say that point zero is the loss of democracy,” she explains. “Industrial livestock operations (ILOs) can’t exist in a democracy. If you have any say about what you don’t want, the first things you’re probably going to refuse are big lakes of stinking pigshit.”

How ILO hog farms differ from the Old Macdonald variety is in population density - 1,000 or more pigs per barn - and in what the industry delicately calls waste management. A 1,000-pig barn produces five tons of pig manure per day, and collecting and composting it in solid form is expensive. Instead, the manure falls through the barn’s steel grate floor where it’s mixed with 20 times its volume in water and flushed into a large open-air waste lagoon. From there, the part that doesn’t leach into the water table or overflow into rivers is sprayed onto open fields. According to Dressel, most liquid-manure operations can be smelled miles away. “What you’re smelling is ammonia, so if you can smell it, it’s damaging your lungs,” she adds.

Getting by bylaws

Farming communities’ first line of defence against ILOs is passing a solid waste bylaw. It allows traditional farmers to continue raising pigs while preventing factory farmers from polluting the land, air and water with liquid manure. The Quebec government seems to have responded to local solid waste bylaws, critics charge, by stripping rural municipalities of their traditional agricultural zoning powers with the Règlement sur les exploitations agricoles, passed June 12, 2002. Maxime Laplante, the Quebec secretary general of the Union des paysans, the international small farmers’ union, describes the process, and it’s the stuff that gives globalization protesters nightmares. “The decision about how many hogs to allow is made in private,” he says. “There’s no clear way to appeal it, and the agronomist’s final decision is secret. Citizens and their elected representatives don’t even have the right to know where the barns are located once they’re completed.”

A number of municipalities have passed solid waste bylaws anyway, including the Chateauguay Valley towns of Hemmingford and Elgin. According to Elgin town councillor David Drummond, its solid waste bylaw was passed in September 2001. An election in November brought in a mayor and a council majority, himself included, elected on an anti-ILO platform. An anti-ILO referendum held at the same time passed with 73 per cent of the vote. In the spring of 2002, local farmer Mario Vinet applied for a permit to build a 1,200-sow barn. The previous year, spring runoff from the Adirondacks made the Trout River overflow its banks. The land Vinet set aside for spraying liquid manure was under water. “Runoff from that field goes into the Trout River. The Trout flows into the Chateauguay River, which supplies Hemmingford’s drinking water. The Chateauguay flows into the St. Lawrence upstream from Montreal,” says Drummond.

The town council denied the permit, citing the liquid manure ban. Industrial pig farming corporation Les meuneries Cote-Paquette, Vinet’s backer, challenged the bylaw in court. In June 2002, Elgin’s building inspector got his own independent legal opinion and unilaterally granted the construction permit. Work is now complete on the barn and, according to Drummond, “The pigs should be arriving any day now.”

Curious things have been happening on the legal front. The town council could have cancelled the construction permit, but let it stand. The council also stopped defending their bylaw in court, and has announced they have no plans to enforce its bylaw, even though it was written as a nuisance bylaw rather than a zoning one.

“Once the permit was issued, the stakes were raised and the issues weren’t as clear-cut,” explains Drummond. “It looked like a long battle and it didn’t look hopeful. We got elected to do something and there’s no obvious way to do it. You almost feel like you’re in a third-world country. Our environment is trashed so Korea and Japan can have cheap pork.”

Bluster and bluffs

Quebec’s Ministry of Municipal Affairs would prefer that the solid waste bylaws never made it to court. According to Elgin Mayor Noella Daoust, Jacques Boivin, a territory planning coordinator and ministry representative, spoke to her at a zoning meeting in Huntington on Dec. 3. Boivin told her the bylaw was illegal and the hog farmer would be able to sue both the municipality for passing the bylaw and the individual councillors who voted for it. “He said it was in some new regulation. I didn’t believe that was possible. I asked for a copy right away. I’m still waiting for it.”

In fact, no such regulation exists, or has for decades if not centuries, in western democracies. Parliamentary immunity - on the municipal level it’s called statutory authority, but it means the same thing - only allows lawsuits against the municipality as a whole. The individual lawmakers are untouchable for anything they do as legislators. Municipal immunity adds another layer of protection. A city can be sued for the unjust way it applies a law; it cannot be sued simply for passing it.

Currently, the city of Elgin is collecting baseline water quality data. They’ve built a river station and hired a technician to collect samples according to Quebec Environment Ministry standards. The samples are tested each month in Ministry labs but at the city’s expense. “We thought it was more important to get the testing done than to argue about who pays for it,” says Drummond.

Having proper baseline data is important, Dressel says. “After the damage was done in the Beauce, or abroad in the Netherlands or in Georgia and North Carolina, all places where mega-hogfarms have gotten in, industry and government claimed the air or the river or the groundwater was probably that bad all along,” she explains.

Turd tests

Elgin is testing levels of phosphorous, fecal coliform bacteria, plus what the Ministry obliquely calls suspended material. “There are many more things we’d test for if we could afford it,” says Dressel. “They feed the pigs large amounts of antibiotics and hormones and three-quarters of it just cycles right through them. In the finishing barns, they feed the pigs salt to make them put on water-weight just before market - enough can come through to seriously damage the spraying fields. Salinity damage takes longer to recover than almost anything else. We need to do some human health baselines as well - asthma and other lung diseases.”

The Rural Coalition is pursuing a formal complaint to the provincial public health department based on the new Loi de santé publique that make it a provincial responsibility not just to protect people who are already sick, but to prevent threats to public health. This is the first complaint brought by a group rather than an individual to be considered by the province. Coalition members say health officials have expressed alarm both at the amount of hog manure about to be spread in this valley and its vulnerability to flooding. A ruling is expected within the next few weeks.






My, how disgusting, on so many levels. Harvesting existence only to destroy, then having to deal with the scatological repercussions of it all. Tsk, tsk, tsk... humans, I swear. The really nice thing about growing vegetables as opposed to raising animals for food is that vegetables never leave a shit. More proof that this world wouldn't stink nearly as much if everyone was a vegetarian.

After 23 years of living, I am -still- trying to come to terms with how people can bring themselves to eat parts from a creature that once spent most of its life rolling around in its own fecal matter. It's beyond my comprehension, really.

May 5, 2005

paradise

I am in my bedroom at my parent's house as I compose this entry, and the atmosphere is simply unsullied. My father had purchased a banquet table to place in the large empty space in my room before the window, and while it had first appeared intrusive and unbecoming, it is actually very pleasant to sit down and do computer (and other) projects while having a gorgeous view out the window. It's also drizzling and somewhat foggy, pouring intermittently, and a nice crisp mountain breeze is floating in through the slats. It's a very inspiring atmosphere, indeed.



After spending an hour yesterday wandering by foot around my town, my modest little settlement built upon an isolated volcano in the Pacific Ocean, I arrived at the following conclusion: I love living in Hilo, Hawaii. The place is little short of perfect for me. The natural beauty, cultural diversity, general political orientation, and peacefulness of the town are all things I would miss should I choose to leave any time soon. I may choose not to leave in the near future, as it is hard to imagine I could create and maintain such an enjoyable and comfortable livelihood anywhere else. My primary incentive for moving elsewhere is little more than an ambition to see what I might be missing. This summer mainland trip, however, may take care of that for me. I am developing an increasingly strong feeling that I would quickly find myself regretting moving away. It may be interesting to live in such places as Seattle, San Francisco, or the northwestern wilderness eventually, but for now, it is seeming much more sensible to stay here and get at least a couple years work experience in a serious job. That I can get a decent job with my undergraduate degree is simply an assumption, though. There must be something I can do on this island that caters to my interests and expertise. I do know that the amount of money I make does not matter nearly as much to me as my own happiness. Moving away and establishing my own residence in a foreign land would create much more pressure on me to find a high-paying job to support myself in an unfamiliar territory. I believe that if I am going to put myself in such a situation, I should have a very good reason. I don't believe that I do, yet. Also, considering that I am already settled in and feel very secure here, I don't believe I should take the chance of trying to fix something that isn't even broken, despite what my wanderlust is telling me. I should listen more closely to logic in this case.

And for heaven's sake, I live in Hawaii. I have had many people in Phoenix, Arizona ask me why the hell I moved there after living in Hawaii. I could only respond with, "well, I guess I got tired of living on a rock most of my life and wanted to see what it was like living on the mainland. Plus, I have relatives here I can stay with." I could never honestly say I enjoyed the city, as it was too large, noisy, dirty, dry, boring, devoid of culture, and full of thieves and beggars. The surrounding nature, however, I could find pleasure in. I miss many of the places in Arizona I used to go regularly or occasionally. I miss the extreme wildness of some of the places, and the many different flavours of surrealism that can be experienced in desert valleys and on plateaus. But there are many more things about living there that I don't miss. Phoenix is truly an ugly city. Its largest green spaces are private golf courses. Its largest, fanciest buildings are resorts the middle class couldn't afford. Everything is made of drab-looking concrete and the streets are mostly arranged on a grid. So much of it looks the same, and very predictable. Temperatures soar in the summer, and it rarely rains. It's a huge city and still offers very little to do, unless one enjoys shopping at upscale clothing stores or playing golf. I am truly glad I decided to get out of there immediately after finishing community college. As I have mentioned many times before, I do not regret ever going there in the first place; it helped me gain a lot of character during my transgression from childhood to adulthood, and I experienced many fabulous things in Arizona.

Yesterday afternoon, after my lectures had mercifully ended for the semester, I decided to take a little walk down to the farmer's market which operates only on Wednesdays and Saturdays. I wore nothing more than a pair of shorts, my blue-tinted sunglasses, and my iPod out the door, remembering to be quite thankful that I could do such a thing year-round here and be very comfortable. It happened to be one of those sunny days that I treasure, where the verdant surroundings become even more blazing green beneath the sun's rays, and the ocean appears a sharp dark blue as cool, refreshing trade winds sweep across its surface and onto the shore. My music completely drowned out any outside noise as I made the ten minute walk into downtown. I stopped at the bridge for a little while and gazed down at the river, becoming hypnotised by its flowing water for a spell. Even the bridge showed character with its graceful curvilinear features, looking as if it had been constructed in the late 19th or early 20th century. That is to say nothing of downtown, though. It still looks very much like a plantation town from the early 1900's, and this is clearly deliberate. Many of the buildings have been restored in such a fashion that still preserves the old-time look. I cannot help but to feel proud to live in a town whose entirety does not look like ten thousand other American towns; mostly made of concrete and full of fast food joints on every block. The buildings simply attest to the amount of cultural diversity that can be found in Hilo. Here, very few minorities are even considered a minority. Equality, in fact, is much more prevalent. After a simple walk around the block, one will have likely seen people from a dozen different nationalities. This is something I appreciate greatly, for I would much rather live here than a town that is strictly dominated by "white culture." Talk about drab. I actually prefer to classify that as absence of culture.

The town is naturally beautiful, as well. Its largest green space is in the form of a public park not far from the sea. Much of it overlooks a river, and is full of lovely shade trees and intersected by interesting bridges. And contrary to Phoenix, it's all very green. Trees and little patches of green are everywhere because the area experiences at least as many rainy days as sunny days every year. A long line of coconut palm trees line the bay front, separating the football (real football, not American football) fields from the bay front highway. Just a little up the slope can be found a series of waterfalls that are very easy to get to, but where privacy can still be obtained most of the time. The uptown region is slightly less pretty, as that is where Wal-Mart and a series of fast food restaurants reside, but I happen to live on the opposite side of town.

The farmer's market was selling a large quantity of different fruits and vegetables, many I have never heard of in my life. Regardless, here's to healthy eating. Since it was the first time I had ever seriously explored the local farmer's market, I was surprised at how expansive it seemed for being held on such a small lot. All kinds of nice Hawaiiana items were being sold, and I did enough cash to purchase a couple necklaces. Someone also had an impressive collection of knives, and I would have bought a wolf-themed pocketknife had I the money on me. Maybe next time.

I am, in fact, happy with the residence in which I live. It's a tiny apartment cell, but I do not mind, for I find it is very cozy and whenever I feel I need more space, I simply venture outside. It's also relatively quiet, and about as close to downtown as it can get without being considered as past of downtown. The chorus of the coqui frogs against the chirping of the early morning songbirds is breathtaking. Currently, I see no reason to move out of there anytime soon.

I love my Hawaii. I don't care who else runs around here; it is my own personal utopia. Is there anything wrong with considering it all mine, as long as I share?

May 3, 2005



I'd be happy with a gold star. Just a modest gold star. Then, when I am finished with my final essay (which I haven't even started writing yet!), I will be asking for... two gold stars! And maybe, just maybe, some hard liquor.

I would love to write more, but I have to read a 40-page chapter on international trade and investment for the big economics quiz nine hours from now, and my eyelids are already drooping. It never ends, does it. Actually, I believe I will go play Super Mario World 2 and zone out for awhile... I have all night!