Aug 25, 2004

Something tells me I don't belong here.

I make a point of going somewhere pleasant and serene everyday some time after class is over, if only because I wish to preserve my good health. If it weren't some physically strenuous activity and a dose of natural majesty on at least a semi-daily basis, my sanity would have been lost long ago. Indeed, if it weren't for exercise--a way to sweat out my mental and emotional tensions and physical antsiness, I'd be in serious trouble. My aggressions would overcome every semblance of self-restraint, and I'd thus be acting on impulse far more often, which would surely render dire consequences. I can't be comfortable merely sitting around all day; such a lifestyle would drive me crazy. I have to get out and run around on a regular basis. It gets my heart pumping, my blood flowing, my spirit invigorated... when I start getting frustrated over too many things, the best thing I can do is go out for a run ... and run it all off.

A couple hours ago, late in the afternoon, I decided to head down to the coast. The entire scenic lookout alongside the highway was unoccupied, so I decided to spend a little time there. I hopped over the thick rock wall supposedly erected to prevent the public from tumbling over the edge of the cliff into the sea, and sat down on the grass on the other side. I had a marvelous view of downtown across the bay, and a gargantuan cruise ship was docked at the port. The atmosphere was delightfully tranquil, for twilight was not too far off, and the air had become slightly cooler, with only a slight sea breeze gracing the coast. So there I sat, thoroughly enjoying the serenity of it all for maybe ten minutes or so, then this white minivan pulls up in the parking lot behind me. I try to block it all out, but realize doing so would be impossible when I look back to see this incredibly obese middle-aged lady leaning over the wall behind me, talking in a most obnoxiously shrill voice to her only slightly thinner apparent husband. Neither of them so much as look at me or acknowledge my presence, which I didn't particularly mind, as I figured they'd be off before too long. I was wrong. I heard a sliding door open, and the unmistakably dreadful sound of a crying baby. I felt my fists clenching and my heart rate rising even before any further events transpired. I dared not look back, but did try to will them away with my mind. I mean, I really tried. It didn't work. All of a sudden, I heard the screaming little fucker right behind me. They put the fucking baby seat with the baby in it on the wall. The baby wasn't enjoying the view; he was bawling his hideous little head off. The little worthless piece of shit was born and continued to exist just to piss me off and send my homocidal tendencies right over the edge. The baby kept wailing, and neither of the two adults made -any- attempt to shut it up! Of course, they also let their little girl, the one who apparently opened the sliding door, to run around and scream at the top of her lungs as well! Damn these fucking humans who apparently have -no- courtesy for anyone else. They could have at the very least moved a little farther down the line once they noticed they had invaded my little territorial circle. Even though they never acknowledged my presence once, there is no way they couldn't have seen me. But since when do most humans have any respect for someone else's space and sense of tranquility? Not these shitheads. I wanted to grab that goddamn baby, shake it a hundred times, and throw it into the ocean, then watch both of those assholes jump in afterwards to try to save it, then drown. Instead, I simply stood up, gazed at both of the stupid adults for a few seconds, then pulled out my camera and snapped their picture. They looked at me quite queerly; almost as if they were stunned. They weren't half as stunned as I was though. ...Astonished at how rude and inconsiderate so many people can be, and not even seem to realize it. Maybe that'll give them something to think about.

I'm not afraid or ashamed to admit that I hate human babies. They're just about the most demonic, ugly, sinister thing I can think of in this world. It's not something I'm proud of either; just something I've learned to accept for truth. I've never found them adorable in the slightest. They are cacophonous, repugnant, worthless drool factories. Humans, for the most part, just make too much damn noise, and I often entertain fantasies of lining up a few hundred humans a day, and tearing out their larynxes one by one. I'd like to do whatever I can to make this world a more peaceful place to live. Today's horrible experience reminded me why I so often go out of my way to get far off the beaten path, to a place I'm quite assured no one could ever reach me. I'm not going to bother concealing how bitter I truly feel. Humans can take their noisy cars, cell phones that fold into cameras and twist into dildos, worthless screeching maggots they call babies, greasy fast food, and go straight to hell.


Later this afternoon, I wandered down to Onomea Bay, quite a bit farther away from town, and much farther from the highway. It's been one of my favorite places to simply wander about and enjoy peacefully for about a year, now. Late in the day, I never run into another soul, and yet... the place is most beautiful at that time. A narrow paved trail leads down to the wide mouth of a heavily forested gulch, and continues across a bridge and through a botanical garden, which is entirely fenced in. Just past the garden, the trail turns to gravel and dives right into a stream. Of course, one can keep their feet dry by scrambling along the bank down to the nice rocky beach and then back up the adjacent ridge. The ridge, adorned with a lone palm tree, is a magnificent place to simply sit and gaze out over the ocean for an hour or more.

I was also up for a little adventure, today. I disregarded all the "lolz no terspasing this meanz u neal!!!!!" signs posted all over the chain link fences standing between me and the botanical garden, and hopped right over the gates. There's something that appeals to me about avoiding a $25 registration fee, not to mention all the tourists who submit to paying it, enough to wait until after the garden "closes" at 5:00, then sneak in. It's a lovely little walk through the rainforest on paths fit for a king, especially around twilight when the good ol' frogs start their motors and inspire your sense of detachment from civilization with their enchanting chorus.

Oh, both the memory cards out of my old camera still work... I was extremely elated to discover that.

Seeing as I'm rather sick of looking into a computer screen, I could do some textbook reading... but I'm much more inclined just to watch a movie. Airplane! usually manages to put me in a much more light-hearted mood... there's just something about satirical comedy that's deliberately cheesy as hell that tickles my funny bone.

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