Dec 24, 2004

Today, I overcame my irrational fear of sea crabs.

It was surprisingly easy. A simple walk along the base of the towering sea cliffs was all it took. They are always there, wherever the water wets the rocks. Predictably, they all scurried away into their little hiding places as I approached. I had realised that they belong there and I have no reason to fear them a long time ago, but that never kept me from becoming petrified everytime I came too close to one. For much of my childhood, I felt I would be less frightened having a chance encounter with a hungry shark out at sea than I would be if surrounded by dozens of sea crabs at my feet. Well, I sat on a rock perfectly still for what must have been a good half hour just watching them move up and down the boulders along with the waves. I always feared their creepy sideways movements, and the eerie way their legs hammered up and down as they moved along. The longer I watched it, though, the more natural and sensible it all seemed. I even found a desiccated crab corpse sitting on a rock, and I scooped it up and took a close look at it. Whatever caused me to fear such a creature, be it a childhood experience I could no longer recall but was still part of my sub-conscious, or a bad dream I had one night years ago, I suddenly realised it was quickly fading away. Maybe it already had been fading away somewhat before today, but just a few hours have passed since I finally concluded that I had nothing to fear. I can easily rationalise fearing humans to death, but crabs? No.

Speaking of humans, many people tend to flip out when I tell them I would be more inclined to save a raccoon's life over the life of a random human being I do not know. They seem to think I either must be lying in order to make myself look like a "badass punk" or something along those lines because I demonstrate a complete lack of morals or compassion for "my fellow man," or believe that I must be a terribly disturbed, mentally unstable, perpetually miserable, morally bereft hopeless sinner. Coming from those sorts of people, I cannot help but take it all as compliments. I would, however, like to make a few things clear, in my very own territory where narrow-minded fools cannot attack me from every side with their baseless claptrap (civil, intelligent comments are welcome). I have been over this before, but many people just can't seem to grasp it, so I repeat myself: the value system(s) and moral code(s) you adhere to, whether you have invented one, customised borrowed elements from a few for yourself, or subscribe to one or two universalising systems, do not and should not apply to everyone else. It's such a simple concept that so many people say they comprehend, but their actions demonstrate otherwise. Certainly, I understand why one might get a little exasperated when I assure them that my natural instinct would be to take a bullet for my cat than I would for them. Humans love to think they are vastly superior to all other species, and it's no big mystery why they would be inclined to believe that. They are more evolved; more intelligent; develop this remarkable art and architecture that they alone revere with tremendous sentiment; destroy and ravage the very habitat they depend on more than any other species; spread their filth and contamination all over the world, whose resources they consume excessively and inefficiently; enslave and slaughter billions of innocent creatures for their own entertainment, food, and scientific progression; have a God who of course assumes human form because humans are more worthy of divine precedence than anything else. Imagine worshiping a God that looked like a fish, the horror! Fishing would be internationally banned, for fear of catching God on a hook! Say, if God were a fish, wouldn't he just skim along the surface of the water instead of swim like his school of disciples?

If only more people were more educated and less ignorant enough to realise how dependent they are on the very environment they are altering and decimating for their own luxury.

Well, as many who know me closely or are even somewhat familiar with me are aware, I do value animals over humans. It comes naturally, and it is neither something I gloat about nor am at all ashamed of. I bother to mention it publically only when asked a question on the subject, as I am usually not compelled to say things for the sake of being outright offensive, but I am brutally honest about what I truly believe, think, and feel. I am simply appalled at the fact that so many people cannot seem to accept this about me and hence refuse to treat me with any respect and dignity as a result. As much as I dislike humanity on a general level, I still show respect to people I come in contact with, especially in person. I realise that it's not their fault they're human. I know I am far from alone in my values, and do not feel they make me unique from everyone else. I have a strong feeling several others share the same sentiments but are less inclined to be open about it. I cannot blame them, either. I feel that being accused of having a "horrible mentality" because you would sooner free a dozen foxes from their cages to save them from burning up in a fire and let two old men in lab coats burn up is nothing short of ridiculous, but I was accused of such a thing recently on only a slightly different example. From human perspective, sure, it's "horrible," but fortunately, humans aren't the only thing in this world that matters, nor should anyone bother trying to convince me I am in the wrong for seeing things from an animal's point of view. I sympathise with animals much more. Animals have inspired me in more ways and have shown me more beauty than most humans ever have. If you have trouble dealing with that, maybe you need the therapy.

Now that I have all that out of my head, I am off to enjoy my Christmas Eve. I am rather fond of today's Google logo. **Saves**

To anyone who may be reading this, I shall not part with a horribly clich├ęd and hollow "happy holidays," but rather, something I mean from the heart rather than a phrase I just saw from the latest Wal-Mart commercial or the back of a card on a mass manufactured bouquet of fake flowers. I sincerely wish you all enjoyable and prosperous years ahead, bounteous with beauty, warmth, and love. Even if you sometimes feel you are estranged from the rest of the world, there is never a time we have not something in common.

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