Jan 22, 2006

He has a ________ plan for you!

Are you tired of prayers that just never get answered? Have you actually lost some of your faith in God because you didn't become the CEO of your favorite video game company while sleeping last night? Stop fussing with defective prayers that never work. We can help God give you what you always wanted!

Yeah... Yeah... I had the religious channel on for no particular reason other than amusement, and happened to notice a pastor talking about a "Formula for an Answered Prayer." Now, you can order the Formula for an Answered Prayer, which now comes in the form of a 5-pack of audio CDs for the low, low price of $24.99 (I'm not kidding about that).

Even praying properly costs money now, what?

Everything must be a formula nowadays, then. Everything is a system. Leave nothing to spontaneity or personal judgment. Praying must be like building an engine; surely there is a complex mathematical and logical procedure for praying that you must follow in order to enjoy proper results, just like so many other things that aren't divine. That's why we have pastors telling us that praying is like baking a delicious chocolate cake. You have to have all the ingredients ready, all carefully measured and proportioned.

How arrogant, greedy, and downright superficial can people be? Jesus. Of course there is little fault to be found with religion itself, but there is in the way it is exploited by dimwits who will sell their soul to make a buck and used to justify terrible decisionmaking, imprisonment (of endless forms) and war. And some people may wonder how I can be so content to spend consecutive days out in the woods all by myself. I don't call it leaving reality... I consider it getting in touch with reality.

Oh, and according to the same guy, God also has a financial plan. You can find out God's financial plan by paying $10.95 for a book called "Higher Finance"!

What a bunch of BULLSHIT.

1 comment:

Vittra said...

Well, you don't say? I have had the Christian channel on before, but it was more about some famous pastor explaining to a crowd what passages from the bible mean and what God really wants. I have never partciularly seen any form of selling, except from some woman whom I vaguely remember but cannot entirely due to the absurd hour it was on television.

Everything is commercialised lately, there is never enough support, never enough interest and everyone is always looking for a new way to find ways to earn more money. If there aren't enough believers, they'll just find ways to milk stupid people out of their money.

The ridiculous thing is that not only are they selling a "Formula for the perfect prayer," but they're selling a formula for a prayer to someone who cannot even be proven to exist. Which part of that scheme is more ridiculous or genius?