Sep 30, 2005

"Being natural, and feeling natural after I put my make-up on: that is what is important to me."

Infomercials can be chock-full of irony and humour.

The ultimate product out there, though, the one that will change your life, enrich your soul, and transform you as a person, is the Saunabelt. Using the sauna to sweat out those pounds is really uncomfortable. Exercise is time-consuming and takes too much effort. Diet plans just don't work. What you need is the Saunabelt. With this miraculous product, all you have to do is put it around your waist, and within 50 minutes, you will sweat like a pig and lose a whole inch! That's right, you can look like a skimpy Hollywood supermodel or a chiseled Roman god in a month just by putting on the Saunabelt and sweating those pounds away.

It may sound satirical, but I actually saw an infomercial for the product that made those exact claims. "Pathetic" has reached a whole new plateau.

I enjoy infomercials, though. They're incredibly entertaining to mock, as many of them seem to be mockeries of themselves as it is. The cheesiness is astronomical. Astro cheese.

Act now.
Save time.
A new you.
Works faster.
Look younger.
So convenient.
It really works.
Amazing results.
Pick up the phone.
There's still time.
Do it for yourself.
Look good on the beach.
It'll change your life.
Hurry, time is running out.
No risk money back guarantee.
Once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's the best decision you'll ever make.
Live the life you've always dreamed of.
This has been a paid presentation for desperate dupes.

2 comments:

Lithium said...

Yes! Someone else who knows how absolutely idiotic infomercials (and the products they sell) are. I cannot believe how many people fall for these kinds of things, and continuously! It's so disheartening to know that a human mind is so easily persuaded by three words like, "It really works!"

You might want to be careful, my dear Wolf. With all these advertising one-liners littered in this entry, you may find people picking up their phones trying to order a "Mirror of the Wolf".

Timberwolf said...

"Guaranteed not to shatter or miracle spring water for life!"