I abhor the XBOX. I hate everything about it. It is going to be fairly obnoxious to watch all the Microsoft fanboys on the gaming (and non-gaming!) forums rave and rave about how "fucking (censored)" the XBOX 360 is. As a video gamer who has always been fairly passionate about the hobby, I am as jubilant about the release of this system as I am about delivering my statistics presentation on a Monday.

It's not the fact that it's made by Microsoft that gauls me, though it does give me a bonus excuse to not have an ounce of respect for it. It's the library of games that has been confirmed for the system.

If you are not into sports, racing, strategy, or shoot-em-up games, there isn't much else for you. Unfortunately, those are the game genres most players (at least in America) prefer these days. Halo is the scum of the earth, and of course both it and its sequel are on there, along with five Star Wars games and three Tony Hawk games. I'm so excited, I just can't hide it.

I have absolutely no interest in playing games like these, sadly. Or maybe it isn't that sad. I am grateful to have been a kid in an era where video games were actually fun and required much more imagination to play. What if I grew up playing Medal of Honor or Call of Duty? I might just feel compelled (and trained!) enough to sign up for the American armed forces when I'm 18! I'm sure that's the general idea, anyhow. XBOX and XBOX 360 are undoubtedly going to help raise a generation of God-worshipin' country-servin' soldiers with their crappy war simulators. I'm so glad I don't play shit like that. If I had kids I would raise them on games like Ratchet & Clank and Starfox Adventures, old as the games would be by then.

See, I expect video games to take me out of reality, not subject me to a visually stunning simulation of it. That would defeat most of the purpose of playing games for me. While all the cool kids gather around their XBOX and play Grand Theft Auto, blare rap music and drink Coors Light while they wreak havoc on the streets, I will happily gather around my Genesis and immerse myself in Sonic the Hedgehog. Anyone with respectable taste may wish to join me, and would get a gentle fur-snuggle just for demonstrating that they have some good taste and that there is a little hope left for some members of the gaming community.

I just feel at a loss when most gaming-related conversation that occurs around me, whether it be in school, at the mall, or in a restaurant, usually involves discussion about "fucking (censored) graphics," "amazing realism," or "I heard you can actually take a dump anywhere you please in the next Call of Duty." Yes, it's all about simulating real world environments, because those are the coolest, right? Heaven forbid programmers should employ a little more imagination these days, or leave anything up to the player's imagination. I remember when I spent more time playing games and less time waiting for cinema cut scenes to finish.

I am a "retro gamer" in every sense of the term. I play the games that made an impact before games generally started sucking. That's not to say that I won't ever play any more new games, though. Give me a nice platformer involving some furry character, and I will probably gobble it up.

To conclude on a positive note, I saw two different people wearing Sonic the Hedgehog t-shirts at school yesterday. That raised my spirits some, and I complimented both on their good taste.